2meirl4meirl

I remember I rarely cried as a teen. On one of the rare occasions I did (I was stressed about school), my dad told me to suck it up and would periodically tease me about it for months afterward. My mom, meanwhile, told me verbally it was ok to cry, but if I ever actually tried to come to her to vent about anything, she would brush me off immediately.

Cut to well over a decade later, living on my own, it's really helpful to cry. Unfortunately we live in a culture where if you, as a man, cry in front of others, you're likely to lose respect even if you're literally in mourning. I teared up when the whole thing with Angella happened in She-Ra, I wept for hours when Trump got elected again. I cried on and off for a long time after my best friend of over 15 years ghosted me out of nowhere, but it was always alone (except for once, which I deeply regret. That's a long story but it did reinforce what I'm saying).

If another man came to me to cry about something, I wouldn't want to discourage him, but I'm not sure I would even know how to react.

Within the last couple years, I’ve made massive breakthroughs in allowing myself to cry. There’s been a few nights where it lasts as long as an hour. It’s strange, but I enjoy it afterwards. It’s a relief like any other to just let yourself go for a while.

Well, I was physically abused when I cried, so now I just don't, and my therapist says that I am not doing terrible.

!Reprieve@lemmy.zip is here for all these guys needing a space to talk about this stuff instead of turning it into cancer or alcoholism

I think some of it comes down to the fact that quite a few guys aren't set off by things that tend to set women off. It's like the meme of "I can't believe he didn't cry at Titanic" and then the bottom is the dude with the shadows over his face looking at the ending for Of mice and men. I think a lot of guys need either the right build up or just the right trigger to actually cry due to emotional reasons.

Though I do think it's at least partially due to toxic masculinity, but at least for myself I tend to just feel hollow at rather than wanting to cry. The type of emotion that makes you want to take a hot bath and lay in front of a fan for a couple hours. Though I do openly ball my eyes out when my pets die.

I like the following method. I promise to myself that if things are going to continue to be as they are, I'm going to kill myself. I plan what needs to be done, how to prepare and staff and suddenly I can see clearly through my emotions.

Weird and dangerous method compared to crying, but I can't cry when I'm in a negative cycle.

Most men do cry and I think the myth that most of us don't is almost as damaging as the other social pressures that prevented the rest of us from ever doing so. It's not as socially acceptable for men to cry as it is for women, which is why when men do cry it's often in private.

You have it nailed into as a child that boys don't cry

For me it's just difficult to cry, even when I want to. It's like you have to strike a really deep emotional chord to bring it out, and while I do hit it sometimes, it's not very often. I'll be damned though if there aren't random days here and there throughout the year where I feel very emotional, and even just thinking about how much I love my daughter makes me well up a little. Men are weird animals.

Meanwhile my wife will see a baby cow, and in the span of a millisecond she will see it's entire life and inevitable meat death, and begin crying mid-sentence. Fans at her face and goes, "And now I'm crying?!"

Apparently i kept so much in that I had a stroke when i was forty.

---√^-^-^-^ /10 would do agian.

(That's a bad representation of an ekg)

I rarely cry. I didn't even cry all that much when my dad died a few years ago, but I've been doing it more and more since. Maybe I needed some time for my emotions to loosen from their moorings. Odd things can set me off now. I bawled like a baby during Guardians of the Galaxy 3. I was alone, though. Had my wife or someone else been there, I probably would've just sucked it up and pushed it down.

Amatures, I died inside in my 20's

If you cry everytime you shit, you should eat more fiber. It will also make your health better and reduce the chances of heart failure.

It’s okay to cry and feel all the feels. I had worked with a young boy who thought all of his feelings were “mad”. Truly there were so many feelings under the surface, but he only felt he could admit to being angry. Seems pretty common.

I cry almost every day bro

Idk, lately I can't cry at all. Some real bad shit happened to me lately, but despite all I just couldn't let it out. Only thing that helped me unload some frustration was music. Thank the Gods for Heavy Metal.

It's like a volcano. It just happens when it happens and there's no precisely predicting it or knowing exactly how it will all play out, but once the pressure builds up sufficiently, it'll be pretty spectacular and dramatic.

Alone. At home.

Bottles ~~everything~~ up 🍻

What I don't understand is how people cry for hours, past 5 minutes I am too exhausted to feel.

This is the ^shittiest^ way. 🥲

I b crying

Talking, exercise, sad or angry music, journaling, video games, shower, petting animals. If I am full blown sobbing that usually means I am in a deep depression which usually means I am not doing these things.

Why would I want to waste time crying?

I cry almost every day.

There is always the go of stuff that is annoying you.

Unless it is actually important, let it go, life is too short to dwell on unimportant shit.

Read some Stoic philosophy.

Exactly what happened to my father

A laxative, I suppose.

Ah, yes, prescriptivism.

Men and women are different... The horror!

Testosterone reduces your ability to cry.

Ouch, maybe men should be open about their feelings & not give a damn about the shaming language

I'll probably get hate for this, but whatever.

Life is hard, the world is shitty, crying may help relieve the pain but it doesn't solve anything else.

Fucking figure it out. Fight everything, make your way, stop doing anything that isn't a real priority. Keep your mind on moving forward and pursue it with a singular dogged precision. No one is going to help you, just get your shit together and get it done.