Congrats, or I'm sorry
this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2025
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Off My Chest
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Thank you. Both, I guess. She broke the one non-negotiable rule of our marriage, after being given another chance. This has always been in my mind as a reasonable possibility. I've rehearsed this moment repeatedly.
I do not hate her, I hope to split amicably, but we are done. I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror if I let this slide a second time.
I don't know what to say to my stepkid, though. He doesn't know yet. He's only recently calmed down and built more trust with her since the first time. And we need to tell him, as this has bearing on who will keep the rental (we both have means to move, it comes down to who he'd prefer to stay with for his last year of college). Fuck - I don't even want to think about the extra stress this is going to cause him...
My dad stayed with his second wife long enough for my step sister to decide who she wanted to stay with when they split.
Dad kept us when him and Mom split up, he kept my step sister and half brother when him and the second wife split. Step sister never forgot it, always knew she had his love. It was huge for her, considering how useless her mom, Aunt, and grandmother were. She could have turned out completely different. Now she has a family with three kids and seems to be a great mom.
It might not be under your control but, if you love the kid and want him/her in your life, tell em the decision is up to them, as far as you're concerned. If that's what you want.
Thank you. Absolutely, I'd be more than happy for him stay with me if that is what he would prefer. It is his decision to make and I respect whatever he decides.
Well, you're a good parent for looking out for the kid. Also I'm proud of you for sticking to your principles. I hope you have time to heal. All the best
That is very kind, and I appreciate it.
It's not easy, but it'll be better in the long run. You've got this.
Thank you. Here's hoping.
Yikes. I’m so sorry.
Damn 4 days before the 10th anniversary. I am sorry for you. Did you or your ex plan anything for that supposedly special day? It seems like your ex did it a first time and again. How much time did pass between those gut wrenching incidents? I hope you can find the strength to navigate the next steps.
We were going to take a vacation in Mexico, a little after the actual anniversary. I was hoping it was going to be a nice bonding experience, but oh well, not to be.
This is useful context if you want more detail - was intentionally vague on timelines in this post but it was within the first 5 years of marriage: https://sh.itjust.works/comment/18349778
Reiterates the importance that the guilty party actually needs to reform for anything in that post to mean fuck all.
I appreciate your well-wishes.