Ask Hilarious Chaos

One of my instructors while I was learning how to shoot said, "Just remember: keep breathing."

I think he was just talking about overcoming my literal tendency to hold my breath while shooting, but man I thought about that one a lot over the years.

"You're doing it."

That's what my Grappa said whenever I told him my plans, and I keep it in mind when other people tell me their crazy plans so I don't get as worried

Always live one pay raise behind.

“Wrap it up”

Listen to the song then listen to the instrumental version of it

A few pieces of advice have stuck with me over the years. Like, drinking a beer in the shower—sounds ridiculous, but it’s criminally underrated. When I was five, my Nana hit me with: ‘Never sleep with a girl when she’s fertile.’ Didn’t fully get it back then, but it stuck. Somewhere along the way I picked up ‘Use the Force, Luke,’ which still makes me laugh. Then there was the game-changer: always poke holes in Chinese pork dumplings before dipping them in the juice. Honestly, that one changed my life. And for pure chaos? Take a sip every time you see blood in Saving Private Ryan. Not sure if it’s advice or a survival test, but it definitely makes the movie unforgettable

50 percent of what you have learned in school books and from other people is wrong. The trouble is we don't know which 50%. Always have a open mind, critical thinking is a necessity of a good life.

During a really tough time of my life, someone said to me “It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again”

Do not pay a hooker before sex.