this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
25 points (96.3% liked)

Off My Chest

1494 readers
170 users here now

RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

This is going to sound stupid, but one day I was talking with my ex-friend "Carol". While we were friends, someone said the word "heterozygous". Carol mentioned that she was straight, so I jokingly said "hetero, like you, Carol!'

She acted as if I called her a slur and got very offended, saying "How dare you call me 'hetero'?!" so I apologized.

(We are ex-friends because of drama [not this], which is kind of a long story, but I guess not the point of the post.)

I have heard many straight people call themselves "hetero", though, including myself when I thought I was straight.

top 19 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] protist@mander.xyz 11 points 6 days ago

(We are ex-friends because of drama [not this], which is kind of a long story, but I guess not the point of the post.)

This actually is the point of your post. Your ex-friend is dramatic and contrarian, and was going to find somethimg to beef with you about.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 7 points 6 days ago
[–] jaennaet@sopuli.xyz 45 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Far as I can tell, the sort of people who think "hetero" is a slur (or "cis" for that matter) are bigots who are offended by the thought that non-cishet people even exist.

[–] SereneSadie@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 6 days ago

I still get a twinge from cis, but I put that down to unfortunately spending too much time around people who actively used it with the connotation of a slur.

I'm still trying to get over that twinge.

[–] blackwitch@lemmings.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

your ex friend was overreacting. Hetero is not offensive as far as I know.

[–] blackwitch@lemmings.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

In Portuguese, "hétero" just means straight

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Same in English, it's short for heterosexual.

[–] cosmicrose@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 week ago

It absolutely isn’t but that doesn’t stop certain idiots from pretending like it is. Same with cis people who don’t like being called “cis” because they want to believe they’re the default and any language that identifies them as otherwise is offensive to them.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 13 points 1 week ago

No. Person sounds like an idiot

[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

That is weird shit. To me it sounds like someone looking for an excuse to be angry. Her reaction is a non sequitur.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I mean... It could be if the person you called hetero is actually gay. Are you sure this person is straight?

[–] anthony@lemmings.world 6 points 1 week ago

She said she only liked men and has called herself straight multiple times.

[–] anthony@lemmings.world 5 points 1 week ago

Fair enough, though

[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Some folks are just looking for excuses to be offended, you shouldn't worry about those sort of folks because they will be mad no matter what.

It is, but only in the eyes of people who think anything else doesn't exist.

They get offended because they equate hetero with homo. One was used as a slur. Still often is. "Bringing the other to the same level" won't make hetero as big of a slur - it'll merely normailze the original.

And normalization of the other is the real reason thise types get upset.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

No, and not even the people pretending that cis is a slur act like it is.

Either she's just a garden variety bitch or you didn't pick up on her own joke...

And also your own attempt at a joke or whatever sucked.

[–] anthony@lemmings.world 3 points 1 week ago

Fair enough

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's not a slur, but I think the way you worded your joke might have come off in a way that made her feel like you were using it as a slur.

[–] anthony@lemmings.world 4 points 1 week ago

Oops... Makes sensde