This is exactly what my wife has been (is) experiencing for about a year now. She's "too young" apparently, according to our doctor(s).
So, if it's cool with y'all, I'll hang out for some tips on how to best support her.
this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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Perimenopause
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It's more than okay if you hang out with us! Welcome to the world of Perimenopause. And her case sounds all too familiar. If you don't mind, how old is she at this time?
TY!
She's 43.
In Western Europe, the MEDIAN age for menaupose is 51, and perimenaupose has a MEDIAN length of 7 years.
She's not too young. She's very close to the median.
Oh, that's useful to know.
I wonder if it's miscommunication in some form. 'Too young' for menopause, bang on for perimenopause onset.
Yes, some doctor's only look at menopause and don't treat peri because they don't understand it. She should definitely see another physician.
Agreed. I hope she see's another Dr. a soon as possible. MarieMarion, what part of Western Europe are you in? What country has a MEDIAN age?
I'm in France, but I don't think I understand your question :)
Oh, by MEDIAN do you mean the general consensus or the "standard"? I think that's what you meant.
It means the age when 50% people are in menopause, and 50% aren't yet. It's often a better metric than the more common average, which is skewed by outliers.
Like, in a country with 10 million people, 10 billionaires make the average income out of synch for the 9,999,9990 normal people. The average income in that country could be 100,000, but the mean income is 70,000. Much more representative of what life actually is for the population.
Got it! Flawless breakdown by the way. If you have anything you want to talk about you're more than welcome to post you thoughts and questions in this community! I may not have all the answers, but I'll definitely do my research and try to help!
Oh gosh! She's ripe for Peri! Yes, that's where she's at. It's very important to have her see another doctor. MEDICAL GASLIGHTING is a thing! Doctors will treat you like you're crazy because they either don't care or they don't know how to treat your symptoms. She need to find another doctor ASAP. Finding the right doctor is kind of like dating. You have to keep trying until you find the right one.
Yeah, we've been through a few now.
Primary health care here (New Zealand) is in an early stage of collapse. Most GP's are not accepting new clients and there's a shortage of GP's generally. Fortunately changing doctors is super easy.
Glad to hear finding a new one won't be too much of a headache, that's most of the battle for most people. What about a specialist for Peri or hormones?
My menopause (not peri but the actual thing) started at 42. So did my mom’s. If your wife has that opportunity, she should ask her mom/women in her family when they started going through it. She is not too young. Doctors don’t know shit about perimenopause because it’s not studied extensively, and they don’t cover it well enough in med school.
She's not too young! Time to find a new doctor. Look for a GYN who specializes in perimenopause. That's what I did and it helped immensely.
Yeah, I remember being super tired in peri (I’m now in menopause at 42). Until I started hormone replacement, I was exhausted by like 7pm and wanted to go to bed.
I'm go glad hormone replacement therapy worked for you. What HRT therapy are you on?
I’m on half estrogen half progesterone, not sure of the dosage cause I’m not home right now and can’t look. It’s a cream I put on my wrist/forearm. I got it through Winona but people can also get it from their doctor. The cream was cheaper than pills, so I went with that.
the cream okay, and how long before you noticed a positive difference?
It was quite fast, maybe within a week. I remember when the sweating stopped and I was finally able to sleep through the night, I was so happy.
yes, ma'am, that's what I'm looking forward to, the hot flashes to stop and to get better sleep. You give me hope!
Not the cream, but my doc added the estrogen patch to the progesterone pills I'm already taking.
She told me 3 weeks before I would notice a difference.
Right as I was slapping on the 6th patch (2.5 weeks) I realized I hadn't been fighting for as many words. 5 weeks in, I cleaned out and reorganized the pantry and knocked out some other chores that I've had no energy for.
Nice! Well, that means one thing, if you want to stay that way, keep up with what's working. I'll admit I'm stubborn sometimes and think, "I feel great I don't need to take that anymore" only for my symptoms to return, so don't do that 😂
Oh my god the fatigue was extreme. I had so little energy and took a long nap most days, it was awful. Over in WomensStuff I have a long post about my experiences with peri so far, in which I talk about what my first signs were and how bad it got before I finally got on HRT.
Same here. One workout would have me feeling like I had the flu. Just exhausted. Naps aren't enough. I'm so looking forward to my Gyno appt. I can't wait to get back to being me. I'm headed there now to read your post! Be post any questions in this community as well, you're more than welcome to!
Based upon what I eat (a diet free of gluten, cow's milk, refined sugars, and soy... maybe seed oils depending on linoleic acid levels), I don't really get sick... at all. If you want to cut those for about a month or two and see how that goes, you might thank me for that. I've done that for years, and yet, never got sick since.
Oh, I don't do much dairy, I love oat milk, I don't consume sugar, I am a carnivore though. Giving up caffeine won't happen, but other than that, I've balanced the same 20lbs between 135 -155 by keeping my nutrition the same. I'd just love to get by in the gym like I used to so I have to go on HRT, hopefully my Gyno will put me on a therapy plan that actually works
Oat milk is a good choice for something that's dairy-free entirely. I like to use things with goat's milk in them (provided it doesn't have the above ingredients I leave out), though that's a different type of dairy (A2 casein, instead of A1 and/or A2 casein cow's milk). As for caffeine, synthetic forms I tend to stay away from (coffee, chocolate, green tea, etc. is fine). Carnivore is a fantastic way to heal up your body, though some wouldn't recommend it long term, except for autism, where Dr. Eric Berg recommends carnivore with sprouts and microgreens for those, like myself, who are autistic.
I've been cycling high protein low carb this month and I always enjoy it. I know it's not sustainable long term, but it's such a good way to decrease belly fat and drop unnecessary water weight and it keep me satiated longer, so no crashing between meals
As far as I'm aware, ditching the gluten, cow's milk, refined sugars and soy are certainly a good way to be sustainable. That gets rid of around 90% or so of the food in the US, but I've been doing alright as a result of it.
Same! I don't do deserts, fried or processed foods. If I want something crispy I have an air fryer and if I really want protein to be made low and slow, I have a Traeger smoker on my deck. It's winter here in the US right now, I can't run my smoker in the cold weather to often, I have to really baby sit adding more pellets to keep the temp if I do. I love using my smoker!
I personally love using an air fryer myself, so I get it for something that needs to be crisp. I never smoked any of my meat, as I tend to use ButcherBox meats, and just air fry it.
I also happened to be American as well, and the winters where I reside are pretty harsh... and apparently, this year's winter will be particularly nasty.
Same here I'm in America and yes this winter will be rough. I think you give off "I'm not a chef, but you probably would be if wanted to kind of good a preparing healthy proteins" I just launched Carnivore Kitchen for people to give tips, post their recipes and learn from each other. I think you'd be right at home over there: !CarnivoreKitchen@lemmy.world Someone already posted a gorgeous chuck roast.