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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/WhatsATrouserSnake on 2025-11-07 05:49:15+00:00.
So this Halloween I decided to go all in.
I had my pirate costume tailored, loaded up with every accessory imaginable - compass, locker key, pirate medallion, stacks of fake gold jewelry, even a hat with a built-in wig. I looked like I’d just stepped off the Black Pearl.
The only shortcut I took was the boots. Couldn’t find decent ones locally, so I ordered a pair online for about $40. They looked amazing… until about twelve hours later.
I was having such a blast that I didn’t notice a thing - dancing, drinking, staggering through a few bars, then on to an after-party. But when I finally kicked those boots off… both my big toes were swollen like grapes. By the next morning, the nails had gone black and started throbbing like they were trying to signal for help.
Fast forward a week: I clipped them short, pressed down to relieve the pressure, got a lovely stream of bloody fluid, and today both nails finally came off completely. Painless, but now my toes look like they’ve been on a shipwreck.
So yeah - the costume was worth it, the pictures were fire, but the price was two toenails.
TL;DR: Went all out on a pirate costume except for the $40 boots. Twelve hours of partying later, my toenails mutinied and jumped ship.
(Gross toe pics in comments - you’ve been warned.)