Whatever I've been doing for the past year, apparently.
this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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Same... same.
"Before I answer any questions, tell me about the real pay package, bonus structure, vacation and sick days and promotions schedule. I also have to warn you in advance that I have flight booked to Barbados next month so we can count that as a signing bonus."
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I’ve had 4 interviews since June where I withdrew myself from consideration in the middle of an interview. I didn’t bomb; just decided the company wasn’t for me.
You can always just say “I don’t think this is the right fit, I would like to withdrawal from consideration but thank you for your time.”
Shortest interview was about 4 minutes, not quite 30 seconds, but it would have been about 30 seconds if he showed up on time. When a CTO shows up late, wearing a t-shirt from their home office while I’m interviewing for a 100% on site role, that’s business casual attire; I’m not even wasting my time talking to this dude.
I actually did this. Maybe not within thirty seconds or so, but I was applying for a higher level position (above my current classification) at a collections agency. Was kind of sick of the grind but others thought I should be promoted, but interview was required first. I basically told them over and over that if they paid me the right salary I'd do the job. They were not impressed, and my then manager had a few words for me the next day. Oh to be young and not having a care in the world. I also knew I had a different career path in mind, so I wasn't interested in staying either.
Start by asking how many paid days off and what is the drinking policy on the job
Boring perhaps, but just get up and leave.
"This is exactly the kind of confidence we're looking for in a candidate. You're hired!"
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I'd like to disclose my disability from my time in federal prison.
Show up naked and shit on the receptionist
First few ideas: Talk about how I'm not really big on the whole "working hard" thing, immediately bring up and start ranting about weird political ideas, "I'm worth X, take it or leave it"
Blowjob?
I cough into my hand as I reach out to greet them and fart loudly as I make eye contact while shaking their hand.
I think a decent number of interviewers will overlook one fart. Maybe two. Depending on the volume, duration, viscosity, etc.
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Tell them I could do the interview better than them
"Didn't I see you in (name of local odd hangout, like a gay bar or something)?"
It's definitely possible. That's one of my favorite spots! Small world!