Sounds like you got the gift, and same day/party told them you're going to return it?
this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2025
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100k miles is practically new lmao
For the majority of people, yes, but not for the general mindset of the populace. Just because only 10% of folks replace their cars before 35k miles, the general feelings out there are that anything above 100k is definitely well used.
Wanting to return it seems hurtful to me. You could probably just use it later, could you not?
This reminds me of a family member doing this once and not getting why it hurt my other relative. They eventually apologized because they realized rejecting a nice gesture is a dick move. Don't be a dick.
Did your spouse at any point ask you what you wanted for your birthday, or did you at any point tell them (of your own volition) what you wanted for your birthday?
When someone who's in your daily life gives you a gift, you:
- Don't return it
- Don't tell them you want to return it
- Don't hide it
Can't say much more without knowing what the thing is.
I'm going to go a different route with advice.
Once this all gets worked out, it might be worth considering a new rule with gifts: don't gift things, gift experiences. Or alternatively, don't gift permanent things, gift consumables.
If you gift someone a tool, appliance, dress, etc. then they will need to find space to store it, even if they don't like it. But if you get them a bottle of wine, or a dinner, or a trip to the Bahamas, then if they don't like it it won't be there forever and they'll likely have a nice story.
But that might not work with your relationship and I have no way of knowing. Just pitching the idea in case it's a good fit for you
Both parties have yet to learn that simple piece of wisdom:
The bait must be to the fish's liking, not to the angler's.
I could see you not reacting well to the gift and them being upset, but then it turned into something more than that. They made the mistake of doing something that you claim is well known you don't like. You held your line and rather than let it sit for a bit insisted it had to go. Now you're both mad/upset over a gift. Doesn't make sense, does it? Even more so if the value of this object isn't that much even new. Who is hurt more by this? You're confused about their reaction but were you hurt by the act of giving, even if it was something unwanted? The core thing you should ask yourself is why it became an argument, and was it worth it? It doesn't even matter who was right.
Is the gift so expensive that you feel it necessary to reclaim the money? Would it feel as though something was missing if they hadn't got you anything? It seems like the more appropriate choice in this situation might have been to accept the gift generously and simply not used it, or not used it often and continued to use the older item. Then, if asked about it, perhaps explained it at that point instead of making a point of explaining that you wanted to return the item and get the money for it.
Just say thank you for the gift and move on. It has always been comical how much angst happens over gifts…
Making an issue about a gift is stupid.