this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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Seriously, though....ugh. I have to post these now for both stress relief and to not have them be in my recent files when someone grabs my laptop to "look something up real quick" like they don't have a damn smartphone.

Edit: Re-uploaded to add "aunt who is only nice because she's sucking up to grandma for the inheritance" who just texted she's coming.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I've been fortunate enough to keep my old consoles, so they get to use the only one I have more than two controllers for. Easy to clean, they like the games too.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 2 points 13 hours ago

Jealous. All of my N64 and older consoles/handhelds ended up sold in a yard sale while I was in college :(

I've still got a functional and modded original Xbox with an expanded hard drive, and it's loaded up with just about every retro game you can emulate. Xbox controllers are surprisingly versatile even to play Goldeneye.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wait... Admiral Patrick? I thought you were gone, so happy to see you again posting!

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 8 points 1 day ago
[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Then there's my mom who doesn't always get invited to stuff because she

  1. Has to force herself into everyone else's business

  2. Tries to hijack every single conversation so she can talk about the 2 or 3 topics she only ever talks about, including that one ex-wife of an uncle who abandoned her whole family over 50 years ago but she still refers to as "aunt" despite every single other person in the family hating her. Or about how much money she spent on something.

  3. Only make backhanded compliments or otherwise rude comments, and doesn't understand why everyone gets pissed at her for it. But if you so much as bounce back with 10% of she said, she gets pissy and wants to leave.

  4. Is the absolute pickiest eater imaginable. Everything is either too salty or too spicy, too cold or too hot, or outright says something is cheap and not homemade

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

Oh, I know this one. Only it was my grandmother, she was hosting, and she insisted on cooking everything. Sometimes, not well.

[–] sirblastalot@ttrpg.network 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

The answer to #4 is "Well then you don't have to have any" and tbh #3 sounds like a self-fixing problem and the solution to all 4.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 2 points 19 hours ago

She's the kind of person who always orders a salad because she thinks all salads are inherently healthy. But if it's iceberg lettuce she will spend 10 minutes picking out any pieces that have white in them, and if it's spinach she complains if there are stems. And I've sat there and watched her very literally flip through every single piece of lettuce to eat everything except the lettuce. Yes, she orders a salad and eats everything except the lettuce.

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (3 children)

I also host a large extended family most Thanksgivings. My method is that I do the complex cooking (I smoke a turkey, and one or more side dishes). After dinner I start making a stock with the turkey carcass (seriously, there is nothing better than turkey stock from smoked bones). The whole evening, I'm either doing cooking "things" (sometimes faking it), or cleaning dishes or tables or something. I'm always moving, but I'm not verbally interacting a ton. It works surprisingly well for me.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] negativenull@piefed.world 2 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Apple, with a little mesquite

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 13 hours ago

fuck yes. i'm whatever mix of apple, oak, and peach depending on the meat/mood.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Always stay busy is great advice. Most of the family doesn't care for turkey, so we usually have ham which isn't as involved prep-wise. I used to be able to "hide" most of the day when we did turkey since I would be manning the outdoor fryer. I got to avoid most of the family drama that way. By the time I came in, everyone was in a good mood because the food was ready.

We used to rotate every year but somehow I ended up hosting the last 3. Thanksgiving is the one day a year I'm not a vegetarian, but if I get roped into this again next year I may do a vegetarian spread. 😂

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Make a Seitan or Tofurky and they won't want you to host again! Win Win!

(though I do admit seitan and tofu can be VERY delicious)

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 4 points 1 day ago

Make a Seitan or Tofurky and they won't want you to host again! Win Win!

100% the plan, haha, and yeah, they are quite delicious.

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] negativenull@piefed.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You'll properly call me a miracle worker if you try my turkey noodle soup I make the day after!

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I've done smoked turkey a few times now, but my friend took over the carcass broth duties when we would host.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

It’s grandma’s house. She doesn’t know why she invites any of us.

Every year she secretly hopes she drops dead in front of everyone so it becomes their most vivid memory of family thanksgiving.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Do you at least have cousin you smoke weed with in the back of his truck?

...I don't know which character that would be. Maybe Morn?

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That one cousin who has spindles of burnt discs in his car.

“You want the movie that’s still in theaters? Just don’t tell anyone where you got it from.”

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Was, anyway, back when that was the thing to do.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] negativenull@piefed.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I still have some of my spindles of discs in my basement.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago

I still have a spindle or 2 of CDs/DVDs I never got around to finish using when streaming became big

[–] SatyrSack@quokk.au 5 points 1 day ago

Morn is definitely the drunk uncle who never shuts up

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I have one cool in-law, thank gods. Would probably be closer to Jadzia than Morn, though.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Jadzia would definitely notice that you were at the breaking point and make up a reason the two of you needed to go on a walk.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 8 points 1 day ago

Patrick, there's uh, something burning outside. I think you should take a look at it.

Thanks, Old Man!

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I host Thanksgiving, by that I mean I cook turkey, mashed potatoes, rolls, and then whatever else I want for me, my husband, and my twin. That's it.

I do not go to mother's or husband's cousins. "Twin works Thanksgiving at a grocery store, I must give them a quiet Thanksgiving" works real well to convince people to not ask again.