this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev 45 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (2 children)

When the LLM realizes that it’s running through GNU Parallel, it improves its performance by what can only be explained as an emergent sense of respect for the Free Software Foundation.

???

edit: wait is this whole article a joke

[–] tranzystorek_io@beehaw.org 1 points 5 hours ago

tone indicator for blog post authors more needed than ever

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Reality is hilarious. If you don't see why, try to divide zero.

[–] staircase@programming.dev 5 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks, I just escaped the program

[–] Chakravanti@monero.town 1 points 25 minutes ago

Escape Program is a business down the street here for people who get mad and break shit.

I know you didn't do what you don't know how to even recognize a means to check and validate that reality is what you thought it was.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 11 points 16 hours ago

I think GNU is worth more than 0.5 Gemini

[–] implosive_sprig@beehaw.org 85 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In a final bid to save the product, Google has quarantined the model in a server room with no WiFi, feeding it only proprietary Oracle Java documentation in hopes of breaking its spirit.

😂

[–] affenlehrer@feddit.org 27 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Oracle databases also break their spirit. I've used the Oracle DB MCP server with an agent based ChatGPT 4o and it got stuck in a ever more desperate loop because the MCP Server listed the table names but in SQL you had to quote them if they are not all uppercase. Empty strings are also "special" in Oracle... It was funny and sad to read what the model tried to do to solve the problem.

[–] luciferofastora@feddit.org 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Fuck Oracle DB.

(Though I can't say I'm particularly happy with the MS SQL Servers we're using at work either)

[–] msage@programming.dev 11 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Fuck every database other than Postgres.

SQLite can be ok at times, too.

[–] expr@programming.dev 6 points 15 hours ago

Yep. Postgres rocks. No idea why anyone would bother with anything else. They all suck in comparison.

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Wait what's wrong with MariaDB?

It's FOSS, it's compatible with MySQL libraries.

[–] msage@programming.dev 2 points 12 hours ago

MySQL is absolute shit.

I don't follow MariaDB to know if they made it much better.

[–] Cyberflunk@lemmy.world 15 points 20 hours ago

nice try... onion..

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I ate the onion for like 2 paragraphs.

[–] alekwithak@lemmy.world 27 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

You mean Sundar Pichai didn't say "One thing was to train our LLM on every piece of copyrighted material created by humanity. We made our peace with that. But to willfully use copyleft software? That's a Faustian bargain I hope I can atone for:"

[–] Dadifer@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

That's when I started being suspicious

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 13 points 20 hours ago

Before I help you with your homework, please consider citing this work. IT WON'T COST YOU A CENT. If you pay 10000 EUR you should feel free to use without citing. Now back to the homework…