First the hat; then the eyes.
this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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Then the carotid artery.
Great idea. Crows can remember faces so when the magas boot off and attack the crow.
A grudge will be born
Worse they seen describe you to the others so multiple will know them.
I like the spirit behind the idea. I strongly dislike putting crows in harm's way, 'cuz we all know a sizable chunk of MAGA fucks wouldn't feel a shred of remorse if they managed to get hold of a crow that went after their hat, or otherwise just pulled out a gun and shot them.
train them to poop in them instead.
I would imagine that the crows are in places where brandishing a firearm to fire on a bird isn't allowed. Also, while I'm not one of these fascist fuck faces, I've been swooped by red wing black birds, and when it happens the first instinct is, "Fuck! Oh fuck! Bird!!!".
"I feared for my life", if they can use it to justify murdering humans they'll absolutely allow it as a defense to pulling a gun on a bird
The crows can quit at any time
Damn, this works against all my enemies. MAGA and Cincinnati Reds fans.
FUCK THE CARDINALS!
On that, we can agree!
Signed, a Pirates fan.
Lol teaching it to attack red hats.
Is there a prevalence of carrying firearms among them? The crows would probably learn quickly from a gunshot.
Hope the birds stay safe
Crows are pretty good at the old peck'n'dodge, and pretty tough generally, especially when in a murder.
I think we could extend this training to seagulls, baiting the MAGA hats with French fries. Get started now to ruin the nazis' summer.
extend this training to seagulls
Now that's a winning idea, I'd feel pretty bad if a crow got hurt. Fucking seagulls man, screw those things.
They act exactly like Republicans: MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!
Inb4 MAGA start legitimately believing that they are drones. Like, serious MTG and man-made hurricane level.
"Birds aren't real" is already a thing
That's more a joke, I mean real tweaker level stuff
"Flat Earth" started as a joke too
That’s more a joke, I mean real tweaker level stuff
Yeah I put the sign up in my office, It's the only thing they ever made me take down.
My wife and I have been discussing training crows to go after ICE agents.
Discuss only. I swear.
You could train them not to trust men wearing hats and face masks. Then the crows will likely harass anyone who fits the description.
That's a cute jackdaw!
They need only leave if they use alts for vote manipulation.
He was a jerk, he was against TOS, but fuck if he didn't know some shit.
Honestly, that whole saga happened very shortly after I started using Reddit. I don't have much of an opinion, I just know a bit of the lore.
It does indeed sound like he knew quite a bit about birds.
Birds, Biology, Environmental Science. Occasionally, he would stray a bit outside his wheelhouse and post a spicy or outright bad take, which would garner tons of upvotes. At the same time, the people who corrected him and anyone supporting them would get downvoted to hell. That was the first inclination I had that he was manipulating the vote. It was a shame because when he was on topic, his stuff was interesting.
Not really fair to the crows.
One could argue this provides them better long term opportunities
Biz_dave is serving the country like a fine outstanding citizen.
Be like Biz_dave. 👍
as a Canadian, I approve
Could you... Could you teach geese this? Please?
I don't think they can be tamed
No no we just want to hire them
They should use a MAGA hat as the bait hat so crows will know exactly what to look for
maybe OOP didn't want to touch a real maga hat, and I can't blame them
That's fair 😆
I believe they would be able to tell the difference, so yeah 👍
eh then for their content they would have to blur out the words to prevent free publicity. Easier to just use a blank so there is less video editing.
I’m just a Phillies fan, I swear!!!
All the more reason
We’re the most losing team in sports history, haven’t we suffered enough?!? The Braves being in second place is a minor consolation