The Onion just can't compete.
this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2026
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Why get a conscience now? Fuck it. All gas, no brakes, Root hog or die, Damn the torpedoes & always remember this kiddos.
Bro working at Nuclear Missile Command: "I am gonna make so much money on this bet!"
Money that won’t be worth anything moments later.
Collect money, convert to bottle caps.
99 Jahre Krieg
Ließen keinen Platz für Sieger
Kriegsminister gibt's nicht mehr
Und auch keine Düsenflieger
Heute zieh' ich meine Runden
Seh' die Welt in Trümmern liegen
Hab' 'n Luftballon gefunden
Denk' an dich und lass' ihn fliegen...
I have little faith the international community would sufficiently sanction and punish this.
That’s… not exactly what I meant.
And yet you’re both correct.
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(4 replies)
Foresight is for libtards.
(/s)
99 Kriegsminister
Streichholz und Benzinkanister
Hielten sich für schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen: „Krieg!“, und wollten Macht
Mann, wer hätte das gedacht?
Dass es einmal so weit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons
boutta be a bunch of millionaires in Bellevue NB
Our entire reality is run by bad ideas now.
Don't worry, pretty soon people will hand over all decision making to AI from daily decisions to the highest level of international politics and war, I'm sure it will be fine. Don't worry about it.
“Let’s go down to the Winchester, have a cold, pint, and wait for this to all blow over.”
Oh naur, but we need to know about futures markets or whatever this betting site is pretending to be.
How are these betting sites even legal I thought betting was illegal in most states
Nope, sports betting was decriminalized a few years ago. And everything got so much worse.
Especially since they also legalized advertising for gambling services.
"Oh don't worry, just include a disclaimer about gambling addiction and seeking help and I'm sure everything will be fine..."
...while they promise free money and instant wealth to some of the most vulnerable and impoverished people in the US...
And... hate to say it, but there are a lot of people with 80-90 level IQ in the US. Many of them struggle with things like projecting forecasts, longterm planning. They are extremely vulnerable to these manipulative marketers.
While true about the vulnerability,
Did the IQ measurements change or something? I thought 100 was considered fairly intelligent, but lately I've seen multiple comments indicating that it's a lukewarm average and anything less is unintelligent.
People use "room temperature IQ" as an insult, but I thought 70-80 was average and there's really no need for concern until you get below 60.
Also, from what I can remember, IQ was calculated as some function of one's "mental age" relative to their "actual age," so it really doesn't mean anything beyond one's mid-twenties. It functioned mainly as an indicator of intellectual development among youths, relative to their peer group. And 80-90 would have meant you were above average...
Trump is probably around 80, for reference.
I agree with the criticisms below about methodology; IQ is ultimately a measure of how good you are at those particular tests. And multiple skillsets are tested. But it is valuable when you're talking about general trends or having a concrete point of comparison (for example, a certain individual compared to the general population).
100 is ALWAYS average for IQ. That's how it's meant to be measured. That's the peak of the bell curve. What is considered average might change over time if people in general get more or less intelligent, but the middle will always be 100.
That said, take any IQ bullshit you hear with a grain of salt. Because it's bullshit.
For some reason I vaguely remember learning something different than that, but I could be remembering wrong or maybe what I learned was bullshit. Oh well.
But yeah, people tend to conflate intelligence with knowledge. You can find a really stupid person with a lot of knowledge on certain subjects, or a really smart person with little to no knowledge on some subjects.
Being able to identify one's own lack of knowledge and intrinsic biases is an indicator of intelligence. But too many people treat the person who "knows a lot" (or seems to) as intelligent, even if they can't apply that knowledge in novel ways or perform abstract analysis on the things they know.
Likewise, people tend to treat you like a dumbass if you don't know much about a certain subject, especially if you're willing to admit to it. They don't care if they can give you three basic facts and you can figure the rest out by logical deduction.
Ignorance is a lack of knowledge, and is easily treatable once diagnosed (if one accepts the diagnosis). Stupidity is chronic, a lack of intelligence, and it can be managed, if the patient is willing to follow recommendations, but it can't be cured except in rare cases.
But IQ is just a measurement, and its validity depends on the quality of the methods of assessment.
You're not betting, see? You're buying/investing in a "futures contract" in an open market and there's no house edge!
TL;DR it's gambling but structured in a way that evades current regulations.
Stock markets are legal in most states, so betting is legal in most states if you do it in a way rich people like.
The Internet is global.
I'm worried about how few people understand this.
Also, it's only illegal if you get punished for it.
I can't recall whether he discusses the legality of it, but YouTuber Drew Gooden has a video where he provides a lot of information about online gambling.
It is astonishing how much insanity we have to tolerate. It is quite evident that gambling is harmful for all, yet we do nothing but remain ageist against the minorities and barely solve the real issue.
Things are escalating further and further. This isn't some regular gambling any more, it's a crime on humanity. Polymarket is the enabler, and as such should be banished. Incentivising peoples misfortunes is anti-humanity.
Pure degeneracy
WSB went corporate. The true degenerates who couldn't get to Wall street or the Vegas strip had to go somewhere.
Hmmm. Not sure how perilous the denotation of a nuclear bomb may be but a detonation of one will be an absolute nightmare..
(I bet the spell check missed it completely since both are correctly spelled, but of course context.. and is a perfect example of why actually proof-reading your work before you post it is advisable. Oyyy.)
the subtitle has "probablibly"
At least we can say it's unlikely to be ai slop.
Right now a bunch of countries have operational nuclear weapons (and this ends in 1998). No one has used one in warfare since 1945 - right now there's basically a fragile truce on nuclear war. Putin threatened to use one but even he didn't actually pull that trigger.
If someone does... then I expect everyone does.
If anyone was dumb enough to use a nuke and also be proud... it will be trump...
Or Netanyahu.
"It's armageddon, we did it for jesus! I am the angel of war!"
"A day's wages for a day's grain! Keep your hands off the wine and oil, peasant!"
It'll just be on some other platform. Gambling is spreading. It's in fucking everything now.
What's the over under for it moving to another platform?
I wonder when Yahoo News will start allowing bets.
Lame :(
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