this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2023
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Ken Dorsey, Bills Offensive Coordinator (Age: 42)

Ken Dorsey is in his second season coordinating the Bills’ offense after taking over for the departed Brian Daboll, and Buffalo has maintained its characteristic dominance, finishing with the 2nd-ranked total offense in 2022 and on track to finish with a top-5 total offense in 2023. Prior to his promotion to coordinator, Dorsey spent three seasons as Josh Allen’s quarterbacks coach, playing a major role in Allen’s development from an inconsistent starter to a dominant force in the league. Before joining the Bills, Dorsey was Cam Newton’s quarterbacks coach in Carolina for five seasons, including his MVP 2015 season, and he played for five seasons as a backup quarterback.

 

Jim Harbaugh, University of Michigan Head Coach (Age: 60)

Jim Harbaugh is in his ninth season as head coach at Michigan, and it might be his best, as the Wolverines are currently 9-0 and have averaged over 40 points per game on offense. Harbaugh has turned Michigan from a middling team in the Big Ten to a national powerhouse, producing star NFL talent such as Rashan Gary and Aidan Hutchinson as well as starting NFL offensive linemen including Michael Onwenu and Graham Glasgow. Prior to becoming a head coach at Michigan, Harbaugh coached the 49ers for four years to a 44-19-1 record with a Super Bowl run, and he engineered a successful turnaround as Stanford’s head coach from 2007 to 2010. Harbaugh played quarterback for 14 seasons in the NFL, and his brother John Harbaugh is currently in his sixteenth season as head coach of the Ravens.

 

Ben Johnson, Lions Offensive Coordinator (Age: 37)

Ben Johnson is in his second season as the Lions’ offensive coordinator and the turnaround has been swift, as the Lions went from a bottom-tier offense and a 3-13-1 record the year before Johnson took over to a top-5 total offense in 2022 and a similarly-impressive performance in 2023. Quarterback Jared Goff is performing at the most efficient clip of his career after being cast aside with the Rams, and players like Amon-Ra St. Brown and Penei Sewell have emerged as two of the top players under 25 at their positions. Prior to taking over as offensive coordinator, Ben Johnson served as TJ Hockenson’s position coach for two seasons, and he played backup quarterback for the UNC Tar Heels for four seasons while earning his Bachelor of Science in Mathematics and Computer Science.

 

Dan Quinn, Cowboys Defensive Coordinator (Age: 53)

Dan Quinn is in his third season coordinating the Cowboys’ defense, and that unit has improved every season under his watch. The Cowboys are on track to finish with the 3rd-ranked total defense in 2023, and under Quinn’s watch, Micah Parsons and Trevon Diggs have emerged as two of the most dominant young defenders in the NFL. Prior to joining the Cowboys, Dan Quinn was the head coach of the Falcons for five seasons, finishing with a 43-42 record and a Super Bowl appearance. Before Atlanta, Quinn coordinated the Seahawks’ to back-to-back top-ranked total defensive outputs in 2013 and 2014 under head coach Pete Carroll, and he played four seasons at Division III Salisbury State as a defensive lineman.

 

Jim Schwartz, Browns Defensive Coordinator (Age: 57)

Jim Schwartz is in his first season as the Browns’ defensive coordinator, and his performance so far has been stellar, as the unit went from around league average in 2022 to a team capable of stifling powerhouse offenses like San Francisco and Cincinnati’s in 2023. Overall, the Browns are on track to finish with the top-ranked total defense in 2023, with career years from Myles Garrett and Martin Emerson. Prior to joining the Browns, Schwartz coordinated the Super Bowl-winning 2017 Philadelphia Eagles’ defense, and he served as the Lions’ head coach from 2009 to 2013, bringing them out of the depths of their infamous 0-16 season in 2008 and to relevancy with a 29-51 total record.

 

Frank Smith, Dolphins Offensive Coordinator (Age: 42)

Frank Smith is in his second season as an offensive coordinator under Mike McDaniel and the Dolphins have transformed into an AFC powerhouse, as Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle are the unquestioned top receiving duo in the NFL and Tua Tagovailoa is in the running to win MVP this season. Overall, the Dolphins are on track to finish with the top-ranked total offense in 2023 on Smith’s watch after finishing in the bottom-10 just two years ago in 2021. Prior to joining the Dolphins, Frank Smith served as Rashawn Slater’s offensive line coach in 2021, and he was the tight end coach for the Raiders from 2018 to 2020, overseeing a Pro Bowl season from Jared Cook and taking part in the development of Darren Waller.

 

Bobby Slowik, Texans Offensive Coordinator (Age: 36)

Bobby Slowik is in his first season coordinating the Texans’ offense, and the offense is drastically outperforming expectations. The Texans currently have a 4-4 record, and quarterback CJ Stroud is the runaway betting favorite to win offensive rookie of the year. Prior to joining the Texans, Bobby Slowik spent four seasons on Kyle Shanahan’s offensive staff, helping in the development of skill-position talent like George Kittle, Deebo Samuel, Brandon Aiyuk, and Brock Purdy and was seen as Kyle Shanahan’s top offensive assistant following Mike McDaniel’s departure. Before San Francisco, Slowik spent two years as an analyst at PFF, and he played wide receiver for the Michigan Tech Huskies for three seasons.

 

Jeff Ulbrich, Jets Defensive Coordinator (Age: 46)

Jeff Ulbrich is in his third season as a defensive coordinator under Robert Saleh and the Jets have made an incredible transformation under his watch, going from the worst-ranked total defense in the league in 2021 to the fourth-ranked total defense in 2022 and a unit capable of going toe-to-toe with Buffalo, Kansas City, and Philadelphia in 2023. Jeff Ulbrich has been instrumental in the development of Deion Jones and Quincy Williams, two modern-style linebackers drafted in the middle rounds, into top players at their position. Jeff Ulbrich started his coaching career with the Seahawks in 2010 under Pete Carroll, and he played ten seasons in the NFL as a linebacker for the 49ers.

 

Honorable Mentions: Eagles OC Brian Johnson, Ravens OC Todd Monken, Bengals DC Lou Anarumo, Ravens DC Mike MacDonald

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[–] xXx_AssDestroyer_xXx@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Aaron Glenn (DC, Lions) has been getting some HC interviews for a few years now - and with the Lions having a statistically good defense this year there's a good chance he gets hired away. Just don't look at how we perform against mobile qbs, please.

[–] yungredosrs@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Lol bro. This is bad analysis. Dorsey is likely out at as even an OC at seasons end. Since he took over for Daboll almost every facet of buffalos offense has regressed.

[–] One-Gur-5573@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

They haven't though. And you add in the loss of Emanuel sanders and Cole Beasley from that last season with daboll, it's even more impressive. People also seem to have collective amnesia about daboll. He was great at times, but always good for a few drive killing play calls per game, many times more than dorsey.

[–] chuckymack@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Lou Anarumo is a terrible, awful DC and I think other teams should force him to stay in Cincinnati. No way any other team should interview him, nosiree.

[–] noobPwnr69@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Quite impressive resumes, I must say, but what I’m really interested in is can they name all 151 gen 1 Pokémon?

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[–] Cabill77@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Please for the love of God, someone take Steve Wilks!!!!

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[–] EcoBeast87@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I heard that Ben Johnson guy likes candy corn; terrible HC material! Better steer clear

[–] Unknown1776@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Hands off of DQ. He’s ours until we need another HC then he’s getting a promotion

[–] ek1992osu@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I will laugh at the entire league if you guys underrate Lou Anarumo and let us keep Loudini another year

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[–] thepomadeguy@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Most Bills fans will be begging a team to hire Dorsey at this rate lol

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[–] Dill_Bo_Baggins@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Dorsey is going to be lucky to be a OC candidate next year, let alone HC.

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[–] SonicDenver@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Eric Bieniemy ever going to get a job??

[–] Jazzreward@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I don't think Schwartz is a good HC. Does he have a hell of a handshake? Yes. DC? sign me up all day.

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[–] nedmac12@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Gym Shorts already had his chance, i'd be surprised if he gets another, especially when offensive minds are taking over.

[–] 17_Saints@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago
[–] buff_001@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Harbaugh has interviewed multiple times now and been rejected every time. NFL executive-type people just don't like him. Who knows why. But I don't think that's changing anytime soon.

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[–] smokeymicpot@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Big chance Flores is a HC again.

[–] 900cam@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I will definitely be in tears if MacDonald gets poached

[–] RainbowBullsOnParade@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bobby Slowik has schemed up a piping hot passing offense but his rushing scheme is, simply put, broken and ineffective. I would pause on considering him a genuine candidate until he shows he can repair what's broken.

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[–] TheMattJones@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

If anyone wants Dorsey, they dumb. Plain and simple

[–] sussysand@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Hey get Bobby Slowik’s name off this list.

Nobody is gonna want him. Our offense hasn’t even been that good. Shoo

[–] ManholtAgain@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I'm like 90% sure Lou Anarumo will be a HC next year.

[–] slotoqusaip@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I had no idea Bobby Slowik worked at PFF. This sub makes it seem like they have a bunch of random dudes working there.

[–] beforetherodeo@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Ben Johnson, former QB at UNC I hear?

[–] DanCampbell89@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Ben Johnson melts his ice cream in the microwave and eats it warm like a soup. Not head coach material

[–] rplinux@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I feel like there has to be a way to make that good. Like hot cocoa but ice cream.

[–] DuckDodgersInSpace@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Affogato is pretty decent. But it's more like an Iced Latte than a hot cocoa...

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[–] spl1970@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

No Matt Nagy? 😆

[–] xedizzzlex@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

i think its way to soon for Bobby Slowik. a few of our games have been total duds. plus im not biased at all and not just trying to get a few more years out of him lol

[–] SonicDenver@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Ben Johnson is gonnnnneeeeeeeeee

[–] ExSyn@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

As a chargers fan, our O-Line and run game were trash before Frank Smith came in as O-Line Coach/Run Game coordinator, improved to pretty good under his tenure, and went right back to trash once he left.

I would give him a good look atleast, given his other jobs also led to very successful units/position groups.

[–] mr_showboat@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Mike MacDonald sucks. No way anyone should want him as their HC.

(I hope everyone who has been following our team can see the sarcasm).

[–] Janawham_Blamiston@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Guys, Dorsey is actually a really good pick. We definitely don't want anyone to take him from us.

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[–] PaVaGa91@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Where is Matt Canada's name?

[–] Fredly_@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Add both Ravens coordinators to this list. I could seriously see them getting the Eagles treatment this offseason.

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[–] Adorable-Salt-8624@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Really no Bieniemy? After this year? I swear if he doesn’t get a job again I’m going to scream.

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[–] Deep-Secret@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Ken Dorsey lol

[–] orc0909@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I'm surprised Mike Caldwell isn't on this list. Though I imagine if the Jags defense keeps up their pace he will make it on to the list.

[–] mcolwander90@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Ben Johnson hopes GTA VI gets delayed a few more years because he's still not ready to move on from GTA Online.

[–] ocxtitan@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Fuck it, give me any of them at this point

[–] Mercinator-87@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Didn’t Schwartz do a terrible job at coaching?

[–] Adenchiz@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I would also add Cardinals OC Drew Petzing, think he's done a great job considering who they have on offense.

[–] jdono927@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I am strongly in support of Dorsey (something which is blasphemy within this fanbase rn) but even I don’t see any chance of him getting a HC nod barring a massive offensive turnaround down the stretch for us

[–] PeaberryCoffee@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

I'm happy to see Brian Flores excluded. As a Vikings fan, he's really, really, terrible guys.

[–] CluelessNFLFan@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Ben Johnson never flushes after he poos 💩 and I was told that he believes washing hands afterwards should be always "optional". A filthy degenerate if you ask me.

We are doing the league a favor by potty training this grown ass manchild so back off. I SAID SHOO!

[–] ShufflingSloth@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Extremely happy to not see Shane Waldron anywhere on this list.

Boy do I hope NFL owners are on the same wavelength.

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[–] fancyskank@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why is Bieniemy not on this list? Maybe he wont want to leave Washington do fast but I feel like he's proven how good he can be even without Mahomes at Qb. Seems like a slam dunk to me.

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[–] Ok_Caramel1517@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

One guy I think that should be getting a look next year is Darrell Bevell.

[–] Brodie1567@alien.top 1 points 2 years ago

Please God, let us get Slowik.

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