Atheism

"Please do not put coffee grounds in the garbage disposal. This has lead to clogged drains and flooding."

"Please do your part to keep the kitchen a pleasant place for each of us to use."

Colleagues, 24-07

Couldn't tell you which verse/s they're in off the top of my head, but there's a group mentioned in the Bible called the "Pharisees" who, despite being outwardly super pious, were at odds with Jesus because of their hyper-focus with man-made rules and their obsession with showy shit that broadcasted their religious status to everyone around them, but failed to help anyone who wasn't one of their own.

It's my favorite because it sets a biblical basis for why Jesus would fucking hate modern Christianity. The hordes of people who go to church every week, wear their cross necklaces, slap the fish logo on the back of their truck... and then vote to make "thy neighbor's" life a living hell if that neighbor happens to be something other than a straight white male christian... those are the modern day Pharisees. And the venn diagram of today's Christians and modern Pharisees is just a single, crisp circle.

An atheist classic, judges 1:19, in which God ‘s assistance is not enough to defeat iron chariots:

And the LORD was with Judah, and he took possession of the hill country, but he could not drive out the inhabitants of the plain because they had chariots of iron.

Romans 13

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

As a German one is immediately reminded of nazi Germany. This is of course a rather naiive interpretation but even if you take historical context into account: the Romans where not the nicest people but apparently their authority comes from God himself.

"Uh oh, the sky is red this morning... You know what they say, red sky at night is a sailor's delight, red sky in morning is a sailor's warning."

Me: "JUST LIKE JESUS TAUGHT!! 😄❤️🥰"

Them: "...😐?"

Matt 16:2-3

He answered and said unto them, When it is evening, ye say, It will be fair weather: for the sky is red.

And in the morning, It will be foul weather to day: for the sky is red and lowering. O ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky; but can ye not discern the signs of the times?

1.	Psalm 137:8-9 (NIV):
•	“Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us. Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”

• all of song of songs. The horniest book of the Bible.

• Ecclesiastes (all of it, but especially chapter 12). The book of depression.

(Not an atheist myself, but these are good ones)

"But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."
1 Timothy 2:12

If a man finds a young woman who is a virgin, who is not betrothed, and he seizes her and lies with her, and they are found out, 29 then the man who lay with her shall give to the young woman’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife because he has humbled her;

Or, as Tim Minchin would say:

Swing your daughter by the hand
But if she gets raped by a man
And refuses then to marry him
Stone her to death!