this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2026
111 points (98.3% liked)

Not The Onion

22409 readers
1043 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 12 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] crispbacon99@lemmy.zip 25 points 1 week ago

Maybe he started it himself just to steal a firetruck?

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago
[–] RedWeasel@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I feel like I have heard this exact scenario happening before.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 5 points 1 week ago

Intrusive thoughts. Cop cars are usually open and running…

Surely it has happened in Florida

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's because you've played either Grand Theft Auto or Just Cause 2.

[–] RedWeasel@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I found one from November where he allegedly set the home on fire as well.

[https://www.witn.com/2025/11/24/man-accused-setting-his-home-fire-stealing-fire-department-vehicle-make-court-appearance/](Different man)

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's all rookie shit until you steal a SWAT tank.

[–] RedWeasel@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Are we talking just the tank or while they are responding to your own home?

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago

Your own home. It's much more challenging to walk out the front door after SWAT's arrived.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] time2lose@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

not even once. no sir