Not The Onion

16278 readers
619 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
1
 
 

HOUSTON — A Houston man is suing Whataburger for nearly $1 million after he says his burger had onions on it.

Turns out he had asked for a no-onions order.

On July 24, 2024, Demery Ardell Wilson had an allergic reaction after eating a burger that had onions on it at Whataburger, court documents say. He alleges that he requested the fast-food chain to take them off before serving him the burger.

2
 
 

Look, I get it. The gargantuan shit-show that is U.S. politics and the American descent into fascism is on everyone's minds. It's certainly on mine.

But the point of this community is to highlight weird news stories that make you go, "By golly, I thought I was reading a headline from The Onion. You know, America's finest news source." A lot of stories being posted lately don't even remotely fit that.

That doesn't mean political stories aren't allowed here, but they must have headlines that would make people pause and wonder if it's a story from The Onion. Straight up regular, non Onion-y headlines don't fit.

3
 
 

Japan’s agriculture minister has resigned after saying he never buys rice because he gets it free, a remark that drew public fury in a country facing soaring food prices.

Taku Etō’s resignation has added to pressure on the prime minister, Shigeru Ishiba, whose failure to rein in soaring rice prices and address a wider cost of living crisis has angered voters ahead of upper house elections in July.

“Just now I submitted my resignation to prime minister Ishiba,” Etō told reporters at the prime minister’s office.

Etō had faced calls for his resignation after claiming that he never had to buy rice, relying instead on gifts from supporters.

Etō had initially sympathised with the “hardship” felt by consumers after the government released about 300,000 tons of rice from emergency stockpiles earlier this year in the hope of bringing down prices. But speaking at a fundraiser last weekend, Etō said he had “never bought rice myself because my supporters donate so much to me that I can practically sell it”.

4
 
 

Tesla owners are modifying their cars to be escapable if the car catches fire, because the doors stop working like normal and you need to rely on well-hidden mechanical overrides.

Which... feels pretty dangerous, like that's the worst possible time for the doors to stop working like normal.

5
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29935779

Who's a pussy-wussy snowflake? Yes you, yes you are..

6
 
 

7
8
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/26082031

The house style of the New York Times is severely outdated. Depending on the topic, the newspaper’s purportedly impartial tone instead reads as smug, self-amused, and deeply lazy. The results are disastrous when applied to a recent article which sincerely considers the idea that Rachel Griffin-Accurso, the popular children’s entertainer known as Ms. Rachel, might […]

Archived version without paywall: https://archive.is/yE3mF

9
10
 
 

cross-posted from: https://ponder.cat/post/2881339

11
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/38745122

An accused serial killer who was executed for murder in Florida on Thursday used his final words to express support for President Trump after offering comfort to his family and his victims’ families.

12
 
 
13
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/29711221

The Boeing 747-8 being offered to Donald Trump by Qatar once served the Qatari royal family and has been sitting unsold for years.

The jet, a lavishly configured version of Boeing's largest passenger aircraft, has been lingering without a buyer since being put up for sale in 2020, according to aircraft listings and aviation analysts.

John Goglia, a former member of the National Transportation Safety Board, told Forbes that giving the 747-8 to the U.S. would allow the Qataris to avoid maintenance costs that were only getting higher—with the 747 fleet shrinking worldwide and fewer mechanics available who know how to work on them.

14
 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/64140227

15
16
17
18
 
 

President Donald Trump is backing off a plan to rename the Persian Gulf the Gulf of Arabia after backlash from Iranian officials, according to a report by CNN.

19
20
21
 
 

🤦

Republican lawmakers in Texas have once again introduced a bill that tries to shove fetal personhood into carpool lane regulations. This time, however, the bill passed the House after an amendment from Democrats to include all mothers, whether their children are in the car or not. The dangerous proposal that could further entrench the idea of personhood into state law now goes to the Senate for consideration.

22
 
 
23
24
25
view more: next ›