this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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[–] restingboredface@sh.itjust.works 79 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Had IUDs inserted twice in two different hospital systems in different states, but it was the same kind of awful both times.

Both times I was told to take ibuprofen beforehand, and that did absolutely nothing. But because it had been so bad the first time, with the second one I thought I'd be smart and took a vicodin I had from a prior procedure.

I still to lay in the room for 15 min after, trying not to vomit, and I nearly passed out. After , I walked to my car where I just sat there for 30 more min to rest. Even with vicodin it is the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life.

Not one ounce of sympathy or concern from anyone on staff.

It's nice there are new guidelines, but I feel like it's going to take more than that to make healthcare workers give a shit about this.

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[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 114 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Holy crap, is it not currently?

[–] halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world 131 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Many doctors dismiss a significant amount of pain complaints in general because of the small minority of drug abusers seeking pain meds.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 91 points 4 days ago (3 children)

How are we supposed to punish every single member of the tiny minority who abuse the system if we're not allowed unlimited collateral damage with impunity?

[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 37 points 4 days ago (4 children)

It’s the mass suffering of the “lessers“ who can’t afford doctors who will just give them whatever drug they ask for. These people actually believe that being unsuccessful, or even slightly less fortunate, is some kind of moral failing, and, therefore, you deserve your fate.

Ghouls

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[–] straightjorkin@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago

In this case it's a remnant of the history of gynecology being using slave women as unwilling test subjects and dismissing all objections from them

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[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 54 points 4 days ago

I've been told it ranges from "it's a quick pinch", through "that's just the way it is" to "we could give a numbing shot, but it would be just as uncomfortable and make this take longer so there's no point".

As a man looking in from the outside, women's reproductive healthcare has a level of dismissiveness around pain that makes the dumbest machismo look quaint. There's the male doctors who just dismiss women's pain, and the female doctors who know and just "that's how it is" it. And then the one 50 year old obstetrics doctor in the country who understands the balance of "childbirth intrinsically hurts" and "we can manage the hell out of pain if we actually do our jobs" who gets to enter a room for 30 seconds, implicitly convey that they're a saint and perfect human being and then immediately get paged to perform emergency surgery for a car accident involving multiple pregnant women, at least in our experience.

That last bit is the only exaggeration. I'm sure there's actually two or three doctors like her per state. The rest is true.

Dismissiveness towards women's pain is upsettingly common in healthcare. From plain old sexism (a woman's 7/10 is a mans 4/10 because women are sensitive) to women's symptoms manifesting differently than men's (women's heart attacks don't present the same as men's, and differences in abdominal anatomy means there's more ways for pain to mask itself as coming from somewhere else.), the end result is that I can't think of a women I know and have talked to about it who hasn't laughingly referenced a doctor dismissing their pain and ordering a pregnancy test.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 13 points 3 days ago

It's not, AND these are "guidelines", which will amount to nothing.

Hell it doesn't even need to be about lady bits for doctors to be dismissive. My wife has been through 3 GP's trying to get some hip pain looked at. Finally found one that would at least do imaging, but they just kinda shrugged it off while she can't even go foot over foot up/down steps.

She finally said screw it and went right to a PT. They had it 50% better two sessions later.

The real kicker? The GP's who both blew her off were women.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My gf got told "it's a pinch" and "there are no nerves in the cervix you won't feel it".

They stab that shit with sharp pincers to hold it open. Ohhh it hurts.

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[–] w3dd1e@lemm.ee 22 points 4 days ago (1 children)

My doctor told me to take a couple ibuprofens before. Did the thing. Made me lie there for a few minutes then set me loose.

I vomited in the parking lot afterwards.

[–] CuddlyCassowary@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I vomited in the exam room and passed out. I think they finally realized I wasn’t kidding.

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[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 23 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Lololol no, you're just told to take an ibuprofen

[–] arrow74@lemm.ee 9 points 3 days ago

They told my wife this, but she's on blood thinner and can't have ibuprofen. Least you can do is read her medical history before telling her to take a dangerous drug combo

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[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 51 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (7 children)

Let’s state the truth. Doctors do NOT care about women one bit, unless said woman is actively pregnant. And then it is ONLY to ensure the baby is ok. Otherwise I’ve yet to meet a doctor (male or female - doesn’t matter) who fines one damn about women.

ETA to add that doctors need to be told to give women pain relief is proof.

[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 8 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I think its incompetance/negligence rather than malice here.

[–] Soulg@ani.social 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Occams razor stopped existing with the advent of social media. There is only intentional malice now

That’s Hanlon’s razor

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 7 points 3 days ago

Yeah, that opinion is rather over the top. You're surely right when saying that doctors need to be more aware of issues that women might face, doctors should be more aware that female bodies work different and as such respond differently to medication, these are known issues

But to claim that they simply don't care is simply not true. I'm sorry if you had bad experiences with doctors but this is not the normal

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago (2 children)

That’s extreme. If doctors don’t care then why did they become doctors? Why go through all of medical school and residency with years of lost sleep and exhaustion to become a doctor? Why not become a lawyer instead? High end corporate lawyers make far more money than even the highest paid doctors.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's still money. But with the moral superiority too. "I'm a doctor"

But also, they're saying that people don't care about women. There's an overwhelming amount of evidence for that. Have you SEEN the tool that's used on the cervix for this procedure? It's actually insane.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (12 children)

Upwards of 80% of OBGYNs are women. Saying that none of these women care about other women, that they went into a field that specializes in caring for women’s health without caring about women, is an extraordinary claim.

I think what we’re seeing here is not at all a lack of caring but a mismatch in expectations vs reality. Many women who receive an IUD report some of the worst pain they’ve felt in their entire life. At the same time, it is a routine outpatient procedure and a specialist doctor can perform thousands of IUD insertions over the course of her career. Do we expect this doctor to react with the same intensity and outpouring of empathy every single time? Or would it be more reasonable to expect that she’d get used to seeing her patients in pain and be numbed by the experience? Compassion fatigue is a real and extremely common phenomenon. Furthermore, I would expect that a doctor who is unduly influenced by the pain of their patients may be compromised in their ability to perform under pressure.

As for the procedure itself, my understanding is that the majority of the pain is not caused by the tools but by the cervix reflexively producing intense cramps in an effort to expel a foreign object: the IUD. There’s not a whole lot that can be done about that besides giving the patient some Midol and a day off work to rest.

[–] Goodmorningsunshine@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (6 children)

There’s not a whole lot that can be done about that besides giving the patient some Midol and a day off work to rest.

So just shrug and give a midol? Like we don't have plenty of other effective, targeted pain relief that would 100% be given to a man who was going to be given an incredibly painful procedure? Especially if that procedure were routinely given to men.

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[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 20 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Many women who receive an IUD report some of the worst pain they’ve felt in their entire life.

...

There’s not a whole lot that can be done about that besides giving the patient some Midol and a day off work to rest.

Erm..."oh you're having the worst pain of your life, here have a combination muscle relaxant and acetaminophen mix that's available over the counter. And also loose a days income"

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[–] lechatron@lemmy.today 88 points 4 days ago (17 children)

Be a step in the right direction.

Fun fact: they stopped working on a male birth control pill because of the side effects it was causing. Most of those side effects are experienced by women taking the female birth control pill.

Fun fact 2: the chainsaw was invented to open the pubic Symphysis joint during difficult child birth.

Bonus banger to enjoy how dismissive healthcare is for women.

(as one of my friends constantly reminds me, my facts are not very fun)

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Few medical doctors have been as lauded—and loathed—as James Marion Sims.

Credited as the “father of modern gynecology,” Sims developed pioneering tools and surgical techniques related to women’s reproductive health. In 1876, he was named president of the American Medical Association, and in 1880, he became president of the American Gynecological Society, an organization he helped found. The 19th-century physician has been lionized with a half-dozen statues around the country.

But because Sims’ research was conducted on enslaved Black women without anesthesia, medical ethicists, historians and others say his use of enslaved Black bodies as medical test subjects falls into a long, ethically bereft history that includes the Tuskegee syphilis experiment and Henrietta Lacks. Critics say Sims cared more about the experiments than in providing therapeutic treatment, and that he caused untold suffering by operating under the racist notion that Black people did not feel pain.

[…]

In the 1850s, Sims moved to New York and opened the first-ever Woman’s Hospital, where he continued testing controversial medical treatments on his patients. When any of Sims’s patients died, the blame, according to him, lay squarely with “the sloth and ignorance of their mothers and the Black midwives who attended them.” He did not believe anything was wrong with his methods.

[–] lepinkainen@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

You want to get angry with a group of people?

Do a group read of Invisible Women, it’ll fuck you up how badly science and engineering fucks up rather than include women because it’s hard 😬

[–] RedPostItNote@lemmy.world 10 points 3 days ago

IUDs are a pretty terrible experience for many women. My uterus wouldn’t stop trying to reject mine for two years. These don’t work at all for a lot of women.

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[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 69 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

It was one of the worst pains I've ever experienced and they gave me mother fucking tylenol.

I got the IUD after twelve years of trying to convince doctors my cramps were unusually bad, and being prescribed mother fucking tylenol, for what I later learned were "muscle spasms similar to labor," every. single. month.

The IUD helped! If you have the same, ask about a Mirena and bring a flask of something strong. Like opium.

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 60 points 4 days ago

This is cool. I guess I can see how it would come across as an Onion article, but Doctors historically don't actually take women's pain in general seriously, let alone pain that is specific to women themselves. Awesome news.

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