I'm surprised no one has said Terraria yet. It's like a lil bit of everything on your list. You can go hardcore and try and beat all the bosses while powering up and mining, or you can take it easy and have fun with the building mechanics. There's an rpg aspect with it too by trying to find the NPCs. Great for lanning. I had many hours wasted with my roommates and my girlfriend/now wife back in the day. They've since added a lot more stuff so I might have to fire it up when my kids are old enough to play.

Phogs is a cute co-op game where you a control a double ended dog (Think Cat-Dog but it's a double dog) to solve puzzles through themed worlds (food, sleep, and playing, a puppy's favorite activities). It's only 2 player though so I'm not sure if that's what you're looking for.

Give Trine 2 a shot. It's three players, is very easy on the eyes, and is good for keeping stress relatively low. Since all three of you like games, playing games isn't unnatural for you, but playing together is something that can potentially cause some stress between you. A game like Trine keeps that fairly low and is a good entry point that once you done with it, hopefully the experience was positive and you can move on to some other things together.

Tabletop sim might work, depending on attitudes towards tabletop games

Raft?

You can run the boat, your wife tends to the crops and animals, your kid gets eaten by the shark trying to loot an island.

Win for all.

Slime rancher

Lovers in a dangerous spacetime

Whole family loved it when kids were pretty little, they still live it now that the kids are teens.

Tricky Towers, Pico Park, Overcooked, Bread and Fred

Plate up. Me and some of my old mates play it. We're all close but have our own lives now so its not been easy finding something all of us will play continuously, but plate up seems to of held our attention for a good amount of time. Its a rogue lite, but the concept has been twisted where you and up to 3 others need to manage a restaurant with a random selection of foods, locations and events that come in the form of two cards to vote on.

Its not my usual scene as I play mil sims/general sims and tactical shooter but ive found lots of enjoyment. Either way I hope you can find something good luck

Europa Universalis IV

I would try Terraria.

Gauntlet is a pretty easy going dungeon crawl game, otherwise for crafting/exploration my wife and I had a blast with Don't Starve Together.

Quasimorph should be good fun.

Valheim got the cousins together for us, though we're older than your daughter. It has a building element like minecraft and mild terraforming. There's some farming for plants and animals. There's sequential crafting discovery as you pick up new items. We probably have 200 multi-player hours in the last year, not counting solo/duo maintenance/prep sessions. It was difficult for me to play by myself initially without guidance, but we've all flourished once a basic base and consistent supply chain was figured out. I think the latest build added adjustable difficulties, but there's many mods out there, not even including console/dev commands. The artistically-dated graphics mask how great of a gameplay loop it can have and how large the world is

If you make it this far, just know that we're all sorry about the Swamps. They're the first real challenge where food becomes critical to survival. Don't leave iron there. You will never have enough iron.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd play the hell out of BG3 when I was 12.

The amount of time I spent on TES 4 and 5 back then, and BG3 hits just the right spot with the variety of ways it allows you to play it.

Minecraft is also in my top favorites.

What I'm saying is, don't count BG3 out completely. Not to mention that it's very saturated, so a shorter attention span shouldn't really be a problem, but you never know.

As for suggestions. Definitely Terraria, as others mentioned. There was also Lego Fortnite, which looks like it would fit the tastes. Maybe also party games?