this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
597 points (96.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

27029 readers
1295 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 67 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[–] brisk@aussie.zone 44 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
[–] Finalsolo963@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 years ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[–] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Also rings don't make you invisible.

[–] owen@lemmy.ca 35 points 2 years ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[–] Downcount@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[–] Delta_V@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[–] Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[–] RustyNova@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 12 points 2 years ago

ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.

[–] bappity@lemmy.world 35 points 2 years ago (5 children)

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[–] souperk@reddthat.com 17 points 2 years ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[–] FurbiesAndBeans@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.

It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).

8+plus happened...

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So are you using FHIR yet?

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.

The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.

The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.

[–] rimjob_rainer@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 years ago

I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.

[–] seliaste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 years ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[–] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 2 points 2 years ago

Absolute amateur

[–] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?

[–] mac@programming.dev 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted

Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com

[–] intelisense@lemm.ee 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Should have used Postgres...

[–] titey@jlai.lu 2 points 2 years ago

True true...

[–] vampire@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 2 years ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Quick roll back the transaction