Timely. I have been considering resorting to (illicit) drug use lately.
I don't want to hurt my body, which I rather like as my transition progresses, I'm just tired of feeling so down all the time. As a hedonist by nature, I seek pleasures of all kinds. Being deprived of them, life has little meaning or value to me.
It's probably better if I could go socialize more (everyone tells me this), but that feels like an impossible challenge.
Sorry I'm not really going anywhere with this, just wanted to write out my thoughts on this and see how it feels to admit.