In the next few days I'm going to start writing the letter that I'm going to give to my parents when I go no contact with them
That's still at least a year off probably more but I want to get it right and get down all of my thoughts, I only get one shot at this
it's such a weird feeling hearing "I love you" from the people who have caused the most amount of suffering in my life. They're kind to my face but their actions are unforgivable
i've had a lifetime of happiness stolen from me by people who claim to love me
I don't know how to live with that
food
ate 1500 calories today, I haven't had more than ~800 in almost 2 weeks
I feel like throwing up and kind of regret it though
idk I just get anxious about stuff didn't mean to make you feel that too my bad
dysphoria posting
my jawline somehow gets more and more square every time i look at it 
mogs me
I have nothing else to really do with my day besides doom scroll, especially with classes ending
someone referred to me as he the other day then stopped to ask my pronouns afterwards and I wanted to jump out of my skin instead of saying she/her
I only chose this username because for the first like 10 comments I made on this account I was pretending to be the most /r/traa trans girl possible named Luna to see if LARPing as someone who is happy would make me happy and it did not and I gave up the bit and just started misery-posting
I have no particular affinity for bats
spoiler
not passing is a doom state for me, other people can be happy without that but for me I cannot envision myself being happy while not passing
there definitely can be a divide over that
idk what I'm going to do, I kind of want to get srs but I'm also very scared of surgery, it does matter thought cause I'll never have the money