HalfSalesman

Perhaps I came off as too hostile. I read your comment and I thought it was potentially harmful and I'm incredibly depressed, so I wrote a hasty sniping response. I tend to think of things said as their effects in aggregate rather than the virtue of the person saying it.

I'm also bi and arguably aromantic. And intend to remain childfree.

Its a normative statement. It contributes to alienating people without wives or kids.

Asking me out is a step beyond complimenting my appearance though.

If they were so bold as to ask me out they weren't afraid of coming off as creepy.

I consider it normative to suggest that such is "normal" and suggests not having a wife or kid(s) as "abnormal". At least by implication.

No.

I've had women ask me out who had literally never said a positive thing about my appearance a singular time before hand.

Yeah this is unacceptable behavior. That said I think this is something that ought to be just explained to him because he might legitimately be a total dumbass.

That said I wish more restaurants were like Fuddruckers or Firehouse Subs and just let me grab my food from the counter myself once it was done. I don't really want to pay someone to carry my food & drinks to me and be possibly insincerely nice to me to increase their tip or whatever.

For once I think I agree with Linux purists.

Fuck I might need a shower.

And I’m not saying that homophobia, internalized or not, shouldn’t be considered.

Yeah I know you aren't saying that. In the same way that I'd still consider sexism/mysogyny as a possibility of being their primary reason. Its just not my first thought based on my experiences and intuition.

As you say, there are other reasons to engage in such behavior. But a) I’m probably going to be reasonably skeptical of those reasons and b) even if they have those reasons, it doesn’t make them not a misogynist.

FWIW I’m gay and nonbinary. I get where concern for homophobia is coming from. It’s just not my first thought in the specific scenario we’re discussing.

Yeah I understand that is your stance, what I don't understand is why you'd suspect that over homophobia. That's what I'm legitimately curious about.

Like, is it the same as me, in that its based on your personal experiences and knowledge of your own internal knowledge of your mind when you were younger? Is it more of some kind of logical/rational analysis? or statistical fact? Is it intuition? Ideological frameworks?

I just don't understand why this is your thinking and I'd like to know. I'm not saying you are wrong, my own beliefs aren't on like, rock solid critical thinking or facts or whatever. Its personal experience.