KarthNemesis

I heard some advice a while back that was along the lines of, "stop apologizing and start thanking," and I feel like it's positively impacted how I phrase things.

Instead of asking forgiveness and moving the conversation into them feeling they have to defend their values on the spot, showing gratitude for their understanding actually makes people feel more valued. "Thank you for your patience" is an entirely different vibe than "sorry I didn't get back to you" and puts much less burden on them. It shows you care about their time without making the focus about your failings and whether or not they agree they are failings.

It's subtle, but I find it's made a huge difference for me.

I also agree with others, in my experience apologies should be reserved for regret and actual feelings of penitence. It's actually a very strong value of mine nowadays, and it certainly makes me much healthier.

Just some thoughts about what I've learned about this particular situation, it's up to you how valid you think they are.

keep on truckin' yourself. ^^

It's not a verbatim quote. It's sardonic, derived from the introduction.

I do not like being called "particularly vulnerable to the impact of traumatic events," ha. Even if they are utilizing that phrasing primarily for kids and young adults, and hedge it in tentativeness, it genuinely is not a dissimilar wordage to people who had been abusive to me during those periods of my life.

I wasn't particularly vulnerable to the impact, I was in a crap situation trapped with people who deeply did not understand me, that had complete power over me. That would be bad for anyone.

It's not a critique of the article as a whole. More of a pet peeve on how many people frame approaching autism, even without any malignant intention. I don't hold any ill will against the researchers, I'm just tired.

==

I agree with the conclusion of your shared article that people have a tendency to frame perceptiveness as "too sensitive," twisting a genuine strength into a bad thing to undermine your own critical thinking.

I also want to state somehow that I appreciate the pure good faith way you approached my original comment ha, keep doing what you're doing.

And I said "probably." I didn't misrepresent them.

If it is the first go-to speculation, it is fairly representative of the default of what they assume could be valid, and it's annoying. That the automatic primary speculation is that minorities are "just sensitive" should be challenged. Tentative couching of that prognosis does not excuse them from review.

I realize you did not state this as your position, and I do not expect you to defend it as your own, but I'd very much prefer to stave off any implication.

"People who are discriminated against have more stress and PTSD. This probably is because they are more sensitive."

Sigh.

I exclusively use "could you repeat that?" Cuz otherwise... yeah.

Rarely, even with being careful, they do still try to expound instead of repeating, which is annoying when I'm trying to accommodate them with specific directions. But it is at least done less.

for someone totally new?
i guess it depends on what you mean by "addicting," so i'll try to put in "potential hours" as a reference. regardless i think all of these are quite fun and consuming for me for a while.

The Binding of Isaac Rebirth.
its difficulty sort of "scales" with how well you do in your runs: if you never beat mom, the next boss, the next boss etc, it'll stay "easier" for as long as that takes. (and if it gets too hard when you start beating stuff, you can always wipe your save and start over, or start a new save, hah!)
the control scheme is extremely simple and it's fine to not be completely perfect at it if you're just going for basic runs and okay with relying more on "lucking" into victory. you really don't have to take on mega-satan or whatever.
up to you if the horror-to-horror-adjacent visuals appeal or not. you do also have to be okay with the idea of dying, it's a roguelike.
you can play this for literally thousands of hours.

Slime Rancher 1.
just a fun time shlorping up slimes. very low stakes and silly and cute. meant to be pretty accessible. if you're brand new i could see it taking up some time, and it's a good way to learn "video game logic." i've spent 80 hours in SR1, playtimes can be a bit varied.

Plants vs Zombies (the original GOTY edition, and definitely not the ad-ridden mobile port)
old 2000's popcap games in general were onboarding for many a gamer back in the day. i've spent 60 hours of it on steam, no idea how much back in the 2000's. playtimes overall can be a bit all over the map on this one.

Garden Paws,
if you like cutesy and the idea of gathering stuff for villagers, with farming / animal raising mechanics. it's slightly jank but it's very endearing. no fail condition. (it's somewhat similar to stardew valley with some differences!) this can be played almost infinitely, if you really like the loop, decorating, or have a few people to play with. playtimes tend to be 40-200 hours roughly.

Wobbledogs,
if you like the idea of raising cute pets with a genome and don't mind the very subtle horror/bizarre aspects (they can die, eat each other's bodies, and they pupate like caterpillars lol.) pretty sandbox game, and you can turn death off if you want. (or "clone" dogs you want to keep with the export/import tool in the menu.) this is a newer one for me so i've only put in 35 hours, but i fully intend to go back and try for some Huge Dogs TM. average seems about 20 hours but you can spend a lot if you like raising weirdo pets.

their "hello fellow kids" energy works better for their goofy insignificant patch notes than it does for combating bad PR.

i was very on the fence about keeping it installed on a potato windows laptop i don't use for much else. this article absolutely convinced me fully not to. they could not have written a worse case for themselves if they had tried.

they have stated they even intend to try getting anticheat on macs as soon as possible. even if it is not possible, (which seems likely to me, considering the ecosystem?) their argument for axing linux could easily be used to just ditch macs. "we don't know how to secure it, and there were only 800 players [on a random, cherry picked day.]"

having a section in which they claim there are zero false positives is delusional. that's not how technology works. there will literally always be bugs, glitches, edge cases.

they claim they can currently read stuff in user mode, so it'll be essentially analogous in invasiveness, and it's straight bullshit.

this is several degrees of trust beyond "can read stuff in user mode when running"
this is "can read anything in user mode, in admin mode, on all other users on your computer, can restrict your bios and hardware, and has full potential to have permanent root access to any user or system you install in the future"

either they do not understand what they are implementing, which is a really bad sign for trusting them with it,
or they know exactly what they are doing and lying about it, which is another really bad sign for trusting them with it.

i'm gonna be honest, if they had taken the hardline "we know it's more invasive, but we need this" and kept it straight, i might have kept playing. it's the only multiplayer competitive game i have anymore.

but the ad hominem attacks in here, the calls to the "angry twitter mobs," the disingenuous and extremely loose way they play with the truth, ~~(it's not running all the time! well, it is, but we don't really think it should count)~~ that in just a few paragraphs has burned any goodwill i had towards them. they are weaponizing their own playerbase to cannibalize themselves and attack their friends for having legitimate concerns about degrees of personal invasion and that's unconscionable. that disgusts me more than the crappy implementation and the cavalier attitude ever could.

props to them, i guess, for making the only choice to be to quit a game i played happily for about a decade.

look up number. type out entire script for the conversation. make the script encompass absolutely anything that can happen in the call. come back to it in a few days. high energy day, find the place i typed my script and the number. triple check the number. call the number, follow the script. make sure to put off any immediate plan demands during the call to minimum two weeks out.

that's my process. i only run into problems if i have to rush things. but planning my life around avoiding other peoples' rushes and emergencies works for the most part. it does require me to know extensively more about the systems i am calling than the people operating the systems to make a proper script, but the research is not typically a problem for me... it just takes time.

usually if i follow this process and cover about 90% of topics in my script i can handle one or two issues.

my cat didn't learn to unhook her claws until she lived with other cats and could see how they did it. was cute how much she learned from living around them for a while

"get indie gaming" and nitrorad on youtube sometimes. occasional random youtubes that use games as a step to talk about psychology or societal issues.

steam recommendations. "new" section of steam. searching "necromancer" and "villain protagonist" on steam obsessively every few months.
one of my steam friends is also into weird indies so i look at the shit she wishlists.

checking out my huge itch bundles. (they do bundles of like, a hundred games at a time, and i like playing baby's first games ha.) sometimes just browsing itch, they have a lot of sick queer games and books.
checking out humble bundles.

Rain World! It has "endings" but the fact that it's sort of got a strange nature simulator / documentary vibe can kind of make it like a very difficult terrarium (that you're also living in) at times. The endings are also very much not required and can be totally ignored lmao.

I love exploring and befriending critters and just the movement system is like nothing else. Creatures living their lives totally independent from me is such a cool aspect I haven't seen done anywhere else quite on the same level. Just the emotions system of the scavs alone is so interesting to learn about! I love how it looks! I love how it taught me that failure doesn't matter and enjoying the journey can be beautiful. I love how you are at your most powerful when you are "most weak" (losing all of your, we'll call it "health" means death is completely consequence-free, and you can just experiment and scout freely and it's so fun to me.) You sort of make your own stories as you go along and I think it's neat.

Also I love bugs and insects. It's got a lot of 'em.