So... if you don't live your life automatically assuming that every stranger is a threat, you don't waste time and effort with small talk.
Rush?
supagreen
A perfectly valid and reasonable reaction, and yet the damage is done... forever...
"V for Vendetta: the Prequel" In this blockbuster miniseries we follow Guy Fawkes and the motley crew of the Gunpowder Plot as they plan their explosive demonstration of love for Catholic monarchy.
beige... beige everywhere... on the people... on the floor... on the walls... surrounded by noncommittal brown forever...
They delved too greedily and too deep... You know what they awoke in the darkness...
Just be aware that it's not something you can argue your way out of, or prove to her once and for all. The problem is emotional, not logical.
She's feeling unstable, anxious, possibly afraid. Maybe you're causing her to feel that way without realizing it, maybe something external is making her feel that way and she's projecting that onto you without realizing that's what she's doing, maybe it's just baggage from past relationships.
Ultimately the source doesn't matter too much. You can't "win" the argument, and any approach that comes from trying to win, or prove yourself right, will only make things worse. It's a cry for attention. And remember, her feelings are valid even if the suspicion she's projecting onto you is not. You can't argue her out of her feelings. Trying to invalidate her feelings will make things worse between you.
If you want to maintain this relationship, you need to set some practical boundaries that you can both live with, and then stick to those boundaries because consistency will help you both feel more stable. Have that conversation when you're both calm, not when either of you is feeling upset.
And then you and your wife need to address the emotional issues. Maybe that's just the two of you making time to sit down and talk about what she's feeling and why. Maybe it's actual therapy. The fact that she's acknowledging that she has a problem is a good sign. Self-reflection on her part is the key. When the moment of crisis comes, when she's starting to get upset, that's when you need to try to work past whatever she's latched onto in the moment and try to address the feeling itself. Ask her to stop for a moment and breathe. Ask her to try to describe what she's feeling, specifically, and then why that feeling at that moment. Listen to what she says. Remember, you're not trying to win an argument, you're trying to understand her feeling, and more importantly you're trying to help her understand herself.
Also, this is very important - at some point when you try to work through this with her, she should have some concern for how she's made you feel. It might not happen right away, you should be patient, but if it never happens then there's really no balance and it puts you in the position of doing all the emotional labor of addressing her feelings with no reciprocation. That's not a relationship.
Gotta get those AI-generated pupils back in the classroom.
Will there be an AI truancy officer?