NaibofTabr

joined 2 years ago
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[–] NaibofTabr 2 points 1 week ago

Just be aware that it's not something you can argue your way out of, or prove to her once and for all. The problem is emotional, not logical.

She's feeling unstable, anxious, possibly afraid. Maybe you're causing her to feel that way without realizing it, maybe something external is making her feel that way and she's projecting that onto you without realizing that's what she's doing, maybe it's just baggage from past relationships.

Ultimately the source doesn't matter too much. You can't "win" the argument, and any approach that comes from trying to win, or prove yourself right, will only make things worse. It's a cry for attention. And remember, her feelings are valid even if the suspicion she's projecting onto you is not. You can't argue her out of her feelings. Trying to invalidate her feelings will make things worse between you.

If you want to maintain this relationship, you need to set some practical boundaries that you can both live with, and then stick to those boundaries because consistency will help you both feel more stable. Have that conversation when you're both calm, not when either of you is feeling upset.

And then you and your wife need to address the emotional issues. Maybe that's just the two of you making time to sit down and talk about what she's feeling and why. Maybe it's actual therapy. The fact that she's acknowledging that she has a problem is a good sign. Self-reflection on her part is the key. When the moment of crisis comes, when she's starting to get upset, that's when you need to try to work past whatever she's latched onto in the moment and try to address the feeling itself. Ask her to stop for a moment and breathe. Ask her to try to describe what she's feeling, specifically, and then why that feeling at that moment. Listen to what she says. Remember, you're not trying to win an argument, you're trying to understand her feeling, and more importantly you're trying to help her understand herself.

Also, this is very important - at some point when you try to work through this with her, she should have some concern for how she's made you feel. It might not happen right away, you should be patient, but if it never happens then there's really no balance and it puts you in the position of doing all the emotional labor of addressing her feelings with no reciprocation. That's not a relationship.

[–] NaibofTabr 19 points 1 week ago

Can it... not?

[–] NaibofTabr 31 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They call it a mine. A mine!

[–] NaibofTabr 16 points 1 week ago

Can you imagine the fallout if Obama had done anything like this?

[–] NaibofTabr 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

In the US the production schedules have been impacted significantly by the unions. This is not a bad thing. Syndicated TV shows used to run absolute hell production schedules. The actors, stage crews and editing teams were basically being worked to death to get a new episode out every week.

Also, audience expectations have gotten a lot higher. The production quality on Strange New Worlds is better than a lot of movies I've seen. It looks good, it sounds good, it's well choreographed, it's well shot. Costumes, makeup, props and special effects are doing consistently high quality work, and that's time consuming.

[–] NaibofTabr 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Name a toilet after him.

[–] NaibofTabr 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

Trained on a corpus of messages written primarily by the people who spend the most time using the Internet to talk to their friends... teenagers.

Imagine dumping the entire content of Snap, Instagram, Kik, Facebook messenger, etc, into a blender and attempting to derive a style of speech from it. The most impressive thing about these LLMs is that they're (marginally) coherent.

[–] NaibofTabr 43 points 1 week ago (3 children)

And who is this Benny Johnson person?

[–] NaibofTabr 27 points 1 week ago

Privatize the profits, socialize the losses.

[–] NaibofTabr 13 points 1 week ago

Fire is a major limitation.

[–] NaibofTabr 32 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So... good parenting definitely means having conversations with your kids about safety and good decision making, but I wouldn't call controlling everything that your kids do online good parenting.

You might discourage such things, but you can't necessarily prevent them, at least not without making your kids complete shut-ins.

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