SkeletorJesus

joined 2 years ago
[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 12 points 1 year ago

There's not even a full podcast of us.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

I left it off until I got desperate enough to start lying about it.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This thread has mostly convinced me to lean more towards open source contributions than a masters, yeah. I don't know what you did on citra, I've used it to emulate a few gens of Pokemon, so thanks for your work!

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

I don't miss the promises things will surely get better for me, I've known those are mostly empty for a long time now. If anything, it's encouraging to hear people drop them without going full doomer like so many people do. The undeniably spiritual component of even the most orthodox Marxism very often gets overlooked. I found a lot of solace in Matt Christman's cushvlogs for that reason.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hear that from time to time but I'm never really sure what to do with that. I never see job postings that list a certification in the requirements or preferred qualifications outside of maybe some IT jobs, and they're usually pretty hyper-specific. Have any suggestions on certs and where to take them?

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Honestly, I don't dislike coding, but I don't like it enough to do it over most other hobbies. It would definitely fall more into the category of unpaid work than something I do for fun. I suppose it's mostly something I have to deal with. The suggestions here seem to lean towards contributing to an open source project or, if I really can't do that, keeping up with my game dev. Appreciate the encouragement. I'm sure I'll keep chugging, I just feel like the frustration boils over more easily the longer this keeps up. Being able to post stuff like this and the encouragement people give in response genuinely do help me keep from like I'm trapped in an asylum.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 3 points 1 year ago

That's not a very materialist take. At any rate, as much as things suck and are scary and shitty and painful, I don't plan on dying. I've been there before and I'm not going back. If you're just being edgy and reductive, whatever. If you're projecting and you're in a bad place, I hope you get the help you need and I hope that things get better for you.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I can't see either image, for some reason, but I've done quite a few revisions to my resume with some help from assorted sources. I got some help from my uni's career center, paid for a resume review from Indeed, asked my Mom who used to work in HR, and visited the CS career subreddit. I finally settled on a single column, minimal "special" formatting with some nice dividing lines. The contact info's in a nice header with the name bolded and in a decent font size. It's a single page, starting with education followed by whatever project experience I could shoehorn in as relevant.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

While the whole "trains/hires from within" thing does tend to set off a lot of my boomer alerts, I don't think this is bad advice. Especially on the anxiety front, that's more or less how I think of it -- anxiety is fear of something that hasn't happened yet, so if you do the thing you're afraid of, the anxiety will naturally fade, short of an anxiety disorder. But yeah, the stop-gap job is definitely my most likely short-term. Thanks for the advice, Zodiark. Your trial has a banger theme.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 1 points 1 year ago

The education's not it. It was just the one guy. It was the company's CEO who decided to join in on the interview. Part of the application process was taking a cognitive test and a personality test. He told me I was pretty weird on both fronts and started ranting about ambition and how he'd love to hire me but he thinks that I "could end up being the next Steve Jobs and would get bored of the job too fast." I mostly just chalked it up to small business owner brainrot, but I at least got to feel good about what was probably a complement.

 

Learn to code, everybody said. There's so many jobs, and they pay well. Dumbass me fell for the bait. Graduated with a degree in computer science a year and a week ago. Didn't get any internships because I didn't realize how important they are. Graduated with a 2.3 GPA because I always heard people don't care about your GPA once you graduate. If you're generous and cut out the hours from when I failed out of college the first time, it's a 2.6.

I've applied to over a thousand jobs by now. Almost entirely entry level, but I took shots at some nonspecified experience level postings once I got more desperate. I've managed to get two interviews. To add insult to injury, one of the interviewers said that their main concern with me was that I'd move on to a new job in a year or two. I couldn't do that if I wanted to, man. I'm so burnt out on how bad applying for shit sucks when I know most of these companies are throwing my application in the trash in less than 5 seconds.

I've been able to stay stable so far. I live with my parents, who are the best parents I could ever ask for. They're understanding, supportive, and want to help how they can. No worries on the living expenses front, at least, but it's not a situation that can last. In the long term, obviously, they're not gonna be around forever. In the short term, it's just going to drive me completely insane. I've used my leftover student loans and a generous graduation gift from my uncle for the non-essential stuff and managed to limit my spending to about $100 a month, but the well will dry up on that front, too.

All this is to say that I don't think I can get a job with my degree. A year long gap is a bad sign on an already weak resume. Soon it'll be as good as if I had never gone to school in the first place after I spent years forcing myself through math classes I tore my hair out over (why was this 75% of my degree again?) I've tried doing some independent game development to maybe transition in that direction, but I can't force myself to do it because the whole time I just feel like I'm wasting time I should be spending looking for a "real" job. My parents have frequently encouraged me to go get a master's while I wait for the job market to improve. After telling them for months that I didn't want to sink any more money in education (read: training) until it showed some returns, I caved and started looking into grad programs. Looks like I couldn't do it if I wanted to because lmao 2.3 GPA. I'm confident I could get a great score on the GRE, I've always done pretty fantastic on that kind of test. It's the one academic skill I have that I can brag about, honestly. But the GRE for Math would kick my ass into next week, and I'm pretty certain most MS in CS programs would want me to take it.

So I can't get a job in my major, I'm too neurotic to do anything on my own, my grades are too shit to get a graduate degree. I'm 28 now and not getting any younger. I'm beyond sick of being dependent on others. But what else can I do? Service jobs suck tremendously and don't pay enough for me to live off of anyways, especially around where I live. It'd be equivalent of choosing to live in poverty. Every road seems closed off to me. I don't know what I can do to make my way through life and I feel like even if I did, I'd be too much of a coddled loser to take that path.

Sorry for turning it into a blog, I'm basically just some random failson whining. Anybody relate?

Edit: Thanks for the replies, everybody. Feeling a little bit less down. Probably gonna try and make some contributions to a FOSS project and get a job at a grocery store or something while I still live at home.

[–] SkeletorJesus@hexbear.net 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't think it's prudish to focus on cool before sexy as the default, especially in games where you're creating an avatar of yourself vs playing a pre-defined character. Maybe I'm out of touch but I don't make characters I'm attracted to, I make characters to represent myself. I want to see me looking cool, not me with my cheeks spread.

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