WhatAnOddUsername

joined 4 years ago

See, I genuinely don't know whether you're joking or not.

This is such a weird little thing, but I write in an online journal app every day, and I had the thought last night, "What if I played with the font and text to make it pink and feminine-looking?"

This feels like a joke, and maybe it sounds like a joke, but for some reason, typing with a pink, slightly-more-girly font made me feel a bit "lighter". It is so weird. For some reason, I have this association between visually customizing the everyday things around you (e.g. using colourful pens and notebooks, putting stickers on things) as being very "girly", in a way that I used to avoid, and am, deep into my adulthood, finally starting to embrace.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

spoiler

It kinda bugs me that the transition/gender discussion is so binary, I think it's causing a lot of trouble for you.

Probably. But I also feel a bit paralyzed by the sheer variety of options available. I'm fortunate to live in what might be one of the least transphobic parts of the world, where medical transition is (at least partly) covered by public health care, and I'm failing to take advantage of it as a result of my own fear.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Probably just dysphoric enough to justify a spoiler tag, just in caseSo. Unlike everyone else in this thread, I'm in an annoying questioning state where I'm not about transitioning (mtf) just yet. There's still a lot about my gender identity that I'm just not sure about.

  • I feel like I'm not married to the term "man", certainly not as much as a lot of men seem to be. Yet, when I see things online attacking "men" in general in a way that I see as being a little bit unfair, it's hard not to internalize that. So, for example, a recent meme about men being more dangerous than bears. It's not that I don't understand the reasoning behind it or that I'm "offended" by it exactly. But it's hard not to be a little sad at the fact that, insofar as I am perceived as male, I am by default perceived as an unlovable and dangerous subhuman monster. I could take this as evidence that I don't want to be a man and that I should transition, but is "not wanting to be a man" enough to pull the trigger on a medical transition? It feels like I should be running TOWARDS something I want, not just AWAY from something I hate.

  • There are a lot of boxes on the "Incel" checklist that describe me, e.g. loneliness, lack of deep friendships or romantic partnerships, spending far too much time on the internet. When I read advice for guys in this kind of situation, it tends to be very similar, obvious-but-annoying-and-difficult things, e.g. taking care of your health, introspection, journaling, meditation, finding social hobbies, etc. When I read this lists, I get a bit annoyed and exhausted. And yet, it becomes a bit more bearable if I think of myself as something other than a man, e.g. "Get a hobby" feels like scolding cliche self-help advice, yet "Get a hobby, but trans" feels less bad for some weird unexplainable reason (even if I don't actually do anything different).

  • A lot of discussions I can find about trans identity talk, explicitly or implicitly, about how a person feels "inside", e.g. what gender do they feel like they are? I don't know if I feel like anything in particular. When I'm filling out forms and it has the option, I usually answer "nonbinary" or something similar. I was playing an online game where you can customize your appearance, and the default avatar was a featureless, not particularly gendered, cute looking cartoon person. I tried making it look like how I actually look, but then I realized, "Wait, I kind of prefer the featureless androgynous humanoid cartoon -- that's closer to what I actually feel like". If you asked me how I imagine myself inside, the honest and silly answer is that I feel like a "Scrimblo Bimblo"-type genderless cartoon/video game character. I'm not 100% sure if "woman" is the right label for me, but I'm not totally against it either -- it just feels odd. I will say, when I see happy women, either alone or in relationships, I feel a tinge of envy, and that strikes me as a sign that I prefer the idea of being a woman more than the idea of being a man. I keep thinking to myself "I can't transition because I'd be an ugly woman", which I am well aware is a classic thing for trans women to tell themselves before transitioning. The prospect of medically transitioning and still identifying as nonbinary is... frightening, but fear seems like a bad reason not to do it.

At this point, I've been ruminating on this so long that it feels like I'm being annoying and indecisive, like I want you to make the decision for me. I realize that's a silly thing to want (but, like, could you? Because that would be GREAT!) so perhaps the best I can hope for is that writing this is a useful exercise for me.

Somewhere down at the 10th level: The parts in Sonic the Hedgehog where Sonic is about to drown underwater and the music gets really fast and dramatic.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Well, that seems to be the solution. Thanks. I know it's silly that I had to ask, but there are so many things I could reset that I was worried I would accidentally make my life more difficult by resetting the wrong thing.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Whenever I try to log into Hexbear on Firefox, I get an error along the lines of "Error: incorrect_login". However, I'm still able to log in when I use Chrome.

Is there an easy way to fix this? (E.g. is there something I can "clear" or "purge" or "reset"?) I'd really like to continue using Firefox rather than Chrome if possible.

I was thinking Rob Reiner from the thumbnail.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I visited the Wikipedia article on Henry Kissinger, and I noticed this sentence:

In contrast, Kissinger is an immensely beloved figure within China, with China News Service describing him in his obituary as someone "who had a sharp vision and a thorough understanding of world affairs".[11][12]

What's the deal with that?

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

From the original article:

Transit: Five percent of U.S. commuters use transit to get to work. New York City, with its extensive subway and rail system, is the big outlier here—more than 30 percent of workers get to their jobs by transit in greater New York City. The only other metros where 10 percent or more of workers commute via transit are San Francisco (17.4 percent); Boston (13.4 percent); D.C. (12.8 percent); Chicago (12.3 percent); Seattle (10.1 percent); and Bridgeport-Stamford, Connecticut (10 percent).

So, New York is a big outlier at over 30%, the rest of the big cities have between 10 and 20%, and there aren't any cities with 20-30%.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

What are all the cities? I can point out some on a map easily, but not others.

I see Seattle, Portland, New York City, Boston, and Chicago for sure. Possibly Pittsburgh, Ann Arbor, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Washington DC, and maybe Springfield Illinois? A bunch of them are hard to tell without the state borders.

[–] WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The school I'm a grad student at is still on strike. Some faculty aren't on board, but some are, including a history professor who specializes in labour studies. He played a bit of banjo at the picket line yesterday.

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by WhatAnOddUsername@hexbear.net to c/labour@hexbear.net
 

Hello there. For the first time, I actually have some concrete questions about activism/doing my part in a union.

I'm in a teaching assistant union that's currently on strike. Since I'm sick for a few days, I've requested to be part of the "remote work" group, and the task I've been assigned is to find contact information for people who've donated to the university.

It occurred to me that "tracking down a person's contact information" is probably a fairly useful skill to have in the context of organizing, so I thought I should ask whether there is any advice I should follow here?

The university lists the names of donors alongside the scholarships, grants, etc. So far, I've mostly just been Googling "(person's name) (name of university)" until I narrow down the right person, and usually find either a LinkedIn page or a page related to that person's business. (Or, a few times, an obituary). The only slightly more sophisticated thing I've done is "whois" lookups for websites. Is there anything else I should consider?

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