goldteeth

It used to be serious. It still is, but it used to be, too.

Man, that "was" really got my hopes up for a minute.

Alright, so you probably can't get rid of it, but you can make it look like it's defective. Make it look like it's sending way too many false positives. Find somewhere where you can get away with making obvious mistakes and then make like fifty of them in a row. "Why would I, an intelligent human being, just sit in the middle of an empty street doing donuts in an 18-wheeler for 10 straight minutes? I have a job to do," you say. If you got one of those "constantly monitoring everything you say" things Amazon tried rolling out, just start spouting random gibberish. Some pencil-pusher at HQ sees a transcript come back that just says "reptile shoestring meridian front sawdust henway ball Amtrak septuagint ladder correct horse battery staple java thorpe 2 Chainz" over and over for like 40 pages, worst-case scenario he's not gonna read it, best-case scenario he's gonna think the company's paying way too much for shit that don't work.

The sewage was no doubt very upset to see its creek being contaminated by RFK Jr.

somehow, inexplicably, "Down Under" by Men at Work.

Ugh. Hate when that happens.

You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe...! I lost my train of thought.

as performed by 😭s 4 😱s

I have an associate's degree from a community college that rebranded their "general studies" program to the "arts and sciences" program to fudge their numbers for a bigger STEM endowment, so... do I just wait for them at the airport, or what?

Honestly, if I'm the defense, this has gotta be awesome, right? Now, I'm not a lawyer, but I have watched Boston Legal twice, so that's basically the same thing, and what I'm hearing is these people want to get up on the stand and show the jury a video which either:

A) to the particularly inattentive, shows the victim clearly alive, or

B) demonstrates that even video evidence can be completely fabricated from whole cloth, and the opposition is more than capable of doing so to serve their own interests

Barring the staggeringly unlikely event that the defendant goes full-on Perry Mason Perp and outright says "hey, sorry I killed you, man" to the hologram, this seems like a pretty sweet deal.

Or some scheming vice admiral with designs on world domination keeps claiming that fighter jets are falling off his aircraft carriers, to cover up the fact he's secretly smuggling them to the subterranean hangar under his island volcano lair...

They spell it out under their FAQ but I doubt that's legally binding