And Finally...

An adventurous cat had to be collected from London Waterloo station by her owner after taking a train into the capital from Surrey.

Michael Hardy, from Weybridge, says his two-year-old cat Tilly is known for straying, having caught buses before and even climbing behind the bar of his local pub.

Even so, he was taken aback when he received a call from a ticket office worker about Tilly's 17.7-mile (28.5km) trip into the city.

Mr Hardy said: "What the hell is my cat doing in Waterloo getting on trains and going for a ride?"

A male stripper caused a stir at a Middlesbrough care home this week, when he replaced the residents' usual "knit and natter" session with a striptease.

Max Hunter was a care home manager before he became a stripper and decided to offer the elderly residents a show.

"I spoke to the gang here and the ladies said a resounding 'yes please'," said Astune Rise care home's manager Caroline Bowstead.

"I've never seen a reaction like it at any event we've done."

A video of the event shows Mr Hunter gyrating with the home's residents and stripping off his uniform down to his underwear.

The residents twirled pants and props as Mr Hunter danced in the living room of the care home, which was decked out in red shimmer curtains.

...

"Everybody was smiling and that's beautiful."

"I loved his backside," added resident Betty Hughes.

Police bodycam footage shows the moment officers used a capybara costume to carry out a drug raid in Peru's capital Lima.

The Escuadron Verde (Green Squad) police group is a specialised unit of the Peruvian National Police who often disguise their agents in fancy dress during festivities such as Valentine's Day, Halloween and Christmas.

The head of the unit, Col Pedro Rojas, has said: "On this occasion, Valentine's Day, lover's day, we sought to camouflage ourselves with the character of the capybara."

Peruvian police have previously dressed their officers up as Marvel characters Spiderman, Captain America, Thor and Black Widow to carry out a drug raid.

A humpback whale briefly swallowed a 24-year-old kayaker last Saturday during a father-son excursion out on the icy waters around Chile’s southernmost Patagonia region.

The terrifying moment, captured on camera by the kayaker’s father, showed the whale surfacing in the Strait of Magellan and gulping Adrian Simancas for a few moments before releasing him.

In the video, verified by CNN, Adrian’s father, Dell, is heard yelling to his son, who had been spat out of the whale, to “grab the boat.” Adrian then swims towards his dad’s pack raft and holds onto it as they pull away.

• Aaron Kosminski was found to be a 100% DNA match to Jack the Ripper
• Historian Russell Edwards made the discovery
• A descendant of Kosminski made the revelation possible

Historian Russell Edwards says he has identified Jack the Ripper as Aaron Kosminski through a DNA match of a shawl found at the scene of one of his murders.

Kosminski was a Polish immigrant who came to Whitechapel, England, in 1881 alongside his brother. He became a barber once in the British capitol.

Edwards told the “Today Show Australia” that he came to purchase the shawl in 2007 after it was purported to be at the scene of the murder of Catherine Eddowes.

Kosminski, who was aged 23 at the time of the murders, has long been considered a suspect. He had schizophrenia and was in a mental asylum at the time of his death in 1919.

A teen has been banned from Teesside play parks ahead of a trial for an alleged sex act involving a rocking horse and a branch.

Callum Green, 18, appeared before Teesside Magistrates' Court on Monday afternoon where he pleaded not guilty to the common law charge of outraging public decency, in a Hartlepool play area.

...

The charge reads: "You, in a public place committed an act outraging public decency by behaving in an indecent manner, namely inserting parts of a "rocking horse" inside yourself whilst masturbating, then pulled a branch off a tree and penetrated yourself."

A Sydney restaurant owner who sells gag fortune cookies has been told to censor her products after an awkward factory mix-up.

Nahji Chu, the owner of popular Vietnamese restaurant Lady Chu in Potts Point, in Sydney's inner-city, put through an order of profanity-laced fortune cookies for Valentine's Day.

She was shocked and slightly tickled to receive a response from her manufacturer who said they were no longer accepting "offensive" language after her messages were mistakenly mixed into other customer orders.

...

In an email, the manufacturer said their other customers were "quite upset" to find Chu's messages inside their custom cookies at the end of last year.

"As a result, management have decided to no longer accept customised orders with offensive or expletive words," the email read.

Chu was told she could order empty cookies from her supplier and insert the funny messages herself.

...

Some of Chu's fortune messages include, "The year of the Snake bears good fortune! Your divorce is coming soon" and "I only married you for your money you ugly c---."

In this week’s episode, I dive into a fascinating linguistic quirk of the sports world—why do so many American hockey players sound like fake Canadians?

My obsession with this topic started with research from linguist Andrew Bray. He noticed the phenomenon of “fake Canadian” accents while studying hockey lingo. While he originally set out to analyze hockey slang for its own sake (e.g. “biscuit” for puck or “celly” for celebration), he found himself asking an even bigger question: Why do American players seem to take on Canadian-esque speech?

Bray recorded his conversations with players, analyzing their vowel shifts and pronunciation. He confirmed that many American hockey players adopt features of Canadian English, but not quite enough to pass as actually Canadian. Instead, they end up in this uncanny valley: they sound just Canadian enough for other people to notice, but not enough to blend in. This could be a case of linguistic mirroring, which is when people unconsciously adjust their speech to fit into a social group. Since hockey has such a strong Canadian identity, American players may be picking up on those speech patterns as part of the sport’s culture.

Bray isn’t the only person out there studying “Hockey English.” In fact, one study suggests that even Canadian players are accused of sounding more Canadian than they’re supposed to.

A Chinese zoo has sparked a social media storm after it started selling tiger urine, claiming its “medicinal properties” could treat rheumatism.

A visitor to the Yaan Bifengxia Wildlife Zoo, situated in the southwestern Sichuan province, shared a post on social media saying the facility was selling “medicinal tiger urine” allegedly from Siberian tigers.

A 250gm-bottle of the liquid cost about 50 yuan (£5.54). According to the South China Morning Post, the zoo recommended the fluid be mixed with white wine and applied to the affected areas, along with slices of ginger. It had a “good therapeutic effect” on ailments like rheumatoid arthritis, sprains, and muscle pain, it claimed.

Customers were told the concoction was safe for oral consumption but should no longer be used if they experienced any allergic reactions.

Speaking to Chinese media outlet The Paper, the zoo said the urine was collected directly from a basin the tigers urinated in but did not clarify if any disinfection procedures were followed.

A "large" sewer blockage caused by "fat, grease and rags" has forced the cancellation of a Bryan Adams concert in Australia on public health grounds.

The Grammy Award winning artist was due to perform at the RAC Arena in Perth on Sunday, but the city's water corporation said a blocked main risked backing up the venue's toilets.

Adams apologised to fans on social media -

...

Perth's water corporation said the fatberg responsible for the disruption had already "caused several wastewater overflows" on the main road near the venue and urged the public to avoid direct contact with "pooled water" in the area.

"We apologise for the inconvenience this has caused and will provide further updates as required," it said in a post on Facebook, advising of the cancellation.

Honourable mention to RTÉ for: Plumber of '69: Sewage blockage halts Bryan Adams concert

With Dry January well and truly over, the Church of England has taken the opportunity to proclaim that alcohol-free wine can’t be used for holy communion.

The Church’s governing body slapped down proposals for non-alcoholic wine and also gluten-free bread to be allowed during the ritual.

Instead, an Anglican leader insisted communion bread had to come from wheat flour and wine from the fermented juice of grapes.

Look how happy he is!

A Florida attorney Mark Roher, 52, is accused of assaulting a man with a dinner plate at a wedding reception, following a dispute over line-cutting at the Boca Lago Country Club in Boca Raton.

According to Palm Beach County Jail records, the altercation escalated from a verbal confrontation to a violent incident, resulting in Roher's arrest. The clash unfolded on January 18, with the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office detailing the events that transpired at the prime rib carving station during the wedding reception.

Roher allegedly became incensed when two young girls purportedly cut in front of him at the buffet line. Enraged by this breach of etiquette, Roher confronted the father of one of the girls, setting off a chain of events that culminated in a physical altercation.

Eye-witnesses and the victim provided their accounts of the altercation, painting a picture of escalating tensions and sudden violence. The victim recounted how Roher approached him, engaged in a heated argument, and then struck him on the head with a dinner plate without warning. The situation quickly spiraled into chaos as other wedding guests became involved in the melee.

A man who was caught with his pants down in a sauna claimed to have been 'warming up his chicken', a court has heard. Xin Zhang had been for a swim at a university leisure centre when a woman noticed him staring at her from the sauna.

The 59-year-old had shorts 'down to his knees' and was touching himself at the time, it is claimed. Prosecutors said he had become 'aroused' by the feeling of the pool jets on his bottom.

...

He said Zhang had 'done some weird stuff previously' including 'pulling his shorts down' near 'air vents at the side of the pool' but that management had said previously they 'didn't have enough evidence to pull him in and to talk to him about it.'

...

A member of management who spoke to him told the court that when he asked Zhang about what he was doing he said 'my chicken' and 'gestured with his hands.' He said he took that to mean that he was 'adjusting himself.'

Zhang, of Foundry Lane in Manchester, told police that 'chicken is what I call my genitals.' He told officers in his interview: "I was adjusting the inner layer of my shorts, because of my eczema I have them loose.'

In his basis of plea given at court, Zhang said he was 'warming' his privates as he was cold. He 'denied he was masturbating but conceded it may have looked like that for anyone watching,' the court was told.

Giving evidence himself, he said that he lay down in the sauna as he was 'cold, tired and hungry.' Speaking through a Mandarin interpreter, he claimed it was customers who set the temperature in the sauna.

He said: "I sat there for about seven or eight minutes and I still felt cold. "I realised my waistband had been tied too tight and I loosened my waistband."

He said after looking at his privates, he feared that 'there might be some kind of illness causing a problem.' "I was trying to warm it up" he said before he heard 'knocking on the windows.'

A man was arrested for manslaughter after allegedly smoking marijuana with a friend and shooting him after the friend said he could “dodge a bullet,” according to arrest documents.

Ashton Jonathan Mann, 23, was arrested just after 4 a.m. on Sunday, Feb. 2, on one count of second-degree felony manslaughter and one third-degree felony charge related to firearms.

...

In an interview with detectives, after he was read his Miranda rights, Mann reportedly told officials he and his friend had smoked marijuana around 8 p.m., and were talking about guns in the kitchen.

Mann and his friend later went into the detached garage to continue their conversation. They were reportedly handling two different handguns when the victim “said he can dodge a bullet,” documents said.

Mann told officials he and his friend unloaded each gun before he pointed a firearm at the victim and pulled the trigger, with his friend trying to “jump out of the way to prove he could move before the trigger was pulled.” Mann told officials they repeated that about six times.

“[Mann] said the final time the gun fired striking [the victim] in the chest,” arrest documents said.

cross-posted from: https://feddit.uk/post/23712598

A pub scored an own goal with a promotion offering a free pint every time Nottingham Forest scored - only for the Reds to win 7-0.

The Gedling Inn, in Nottinghamshire, came up with the promotion to spread the word after it started to televise local Premier League games at the venue.

But the incentive backfired after Forest scored seven without reply against Brighton on Saturday - and almost 300 free beers were handed over the bar.

Landlady Beccy Webster said: "When the final whistle went, I just said 'phew!'"

A man who told doctors he ate nothing, but 6–9 pounds of butter, cheese and hamburgers every day for eight months ended up at Tampa General Hospital with yellowish lumps of cholesterol developing on parts of his body.

The backstory: According to JAMA Cardiology, a man, who is only identified as being in his 40s, told doctors that he got diet advice from the internet and began following an extreme carnivore diet.

For eight months, he only ate 6–9 pounds of butter, cheese and hamburgers a day. He stopped eating all carbohydrates, such as bread and sugar.

At first, he said he felt great. He lost weight, became more energetic and had more mental clarity.

But after about eight months, he started developing yellow lesions on his eyelids. Over the next month, the yellow lesions appeared on the palms of his hands, the soles of his feet and his elbows.

Doctors diagnosed him with xanthelasma, a rare condition that impacts about 1% of patients with high cholesterol.

Dig deeper: Xanthelasma is yellow raised deposits of cholesterol that appear under the skin because the body cannot process it.

These dogs that have been painted orange and black to look like tigers may look cute but critics have hit out at the zoo responsible.

Video footage shows a Chow Chow running around while covered in the paint at the Qinhu Bay Forest Animal Kingdom zoo in Taizhou, China.

Other pictures shared show two other Chow Chow dogs, that are native to China, also covered in paint.

The zoo soon admitted it had all been a ‘gimmick’ and said there was no health risk to the dogs because the dye was put on professionally.

Beady-eyed social media users on Douyin, China’s version of TikTok, were quick to notice these were definitely not big cats.

...

But this is not the first time a zoo in China has dyed dogs to look like another animal.

Taizhou Zoo dyed two Chow Chow dogs black and white to make them look like panda bears in May 2024.

Chinese state media accused the zoo of trying to deceive visitors into thinking the animals were actual pandas.

...

In 2023, Hangzhou Zoo, in the Chinese province of Zhejiang, had to issue a statement insisting its sun bears were not humans in costume.

And previously:

• Zoo defends ‘panda’ exhibit after criticism for using dogs dyed black and white
• Zoo admits that their pandas are actually ‘painted dogs’

An a-peel-ing mystery deepens after another plate of peeled bananas was left in a leafy Nottinghamshire street and disappeared after just one night.

While inquiries by residents into who left them behind have so far proved fruitless, the bananas piled high on a plate have been left for over a year - and another plate was discovered on Saturday night.

According to residents, the fruity deposit arrives overnight between the first and second day of each month, when about 16-20 peeled bananas are left out on the corner of Abbey Road and Wensor Avenue in Beeston.

Luke Roberts and Jai Brewer, who travelled three hours from Slough to see the landmark on Sunday morning, were left disappointed when they found the plate had gone missing.

Ryan Smith, 42, was sentenced Monday to 90 days in jail on charges of theft by shoplifting ($501 to $1,499, first-degree criminal trespassing and impersonating a peace officer. He was given credit for six days served.

According to an arrest affidavit, in October 2023, an investigator with the Sarpy County Sheriff’s Office responded to an apartment complex in Omaha for a report of a deceased person inside. Court records do not suggest any foul play.

The investigator says he then called MidAmerica First Call to transport the body to the morgue for an autopsy. He added that there was a life-sized sex doll near the bed in the room, with Smith and another employee making comments about it.

The affidavit says management of the apartment complex called and reported Smith had requested he be let inside to retrieve the sex doll. When management denied his request, court records say he allegedly went inside the apartment, latched the deadbolt and secured the chain across the door.

The affidavit says that when the apartment manager spoke with Smith his shirt “was untucked and his pants were in disarray.”

The investigator says the sex doll appeared to have been altered near her thigh area and was “sticky to the touch

And previously:

• Morgue worker tried to steal sex doll from dead man's home for ‘evidentiary purposes' - the earlier report, this is the charging

A Chester woman has denied having an offensive bumper sticker on her car and will face a trial in the spring.

Georgia Venables, 29 and of Prenton Place in Chester, pleaded not guilty to one charge of displaying threatening/abusive writing/sign/visible representation likely to cause harassment/alarm/distress at Chester Magistrates Court on Tuesday.

CPS prosecutor Valeriya Tonkinson told the court that on January 8 this year, the defendant was seen travelling on Deva Link with a bumper sticker that said ‘Don’t be a cunt’.

A piece of fossilised vomit dating back to the time of the dinosaurs has been discovered in Denmark.

Local fossil hunter Peter Bennicke found the fossil at Stevns Klint - a Unesco-listed coastal cliff in the east of the country.

The self-declared "fossil geek" said he came across some unusual-looking fragments which turned out to be pieces of sea lily - an underwater species related to starfish and sea urchins - in a piece of chalk.

Mr Bennicke took the fragments to be examined at the Museum of East Zealand, which confirmed the vomit could be dated to the end of the Cretaceous period 66 million years ago - a time when dinosaurs including Tyrannosaurus and Triceratops existed.

Jesper Milan, palaeontologist and curator at the museum, told the BBC it was "truly an unusual find" as it helps explain relationships in the prehistoric food chain.

"It tells us something about who was eating who 66 million years ago," he said.

During the period fish and sharks would eat sea lilies, which are hard to digest meaning they would then "regurgitate all the chalk bits", he explained.