Socialanxiety

Wait no, actually I don't. Boo ice breakers. Booo

Hi, I apologize if this isn't exactly "on-topic" so to speak, but I am not sure where else to go and I want to get my thoughts out somewhere.

I find it difficult to make real life friends, not because I necessarily have social anxiety but because I feel so disconnected from the reality everyone around me seems to be a part of. I live in the US, and I imagine I don't need to explain the current state of the country to a lemmy community. I'm a leftist progressive, who also happens to be very privacy/foss focused. I also have a couple mental disorders that make it more difficult to "properly" socialize. I find it hard to relate to people who use mainstream social media, as when I hear or see people talk about it, all I see is the abuse of the working class. I see data harvesting and propaganda. I find it hard not to bring this up when talking to others, as it's a core belief. I see it as fundamentally wrong that we allow ourselves to be whored out to data brokers for a quick hit of dopamine. I see the US falling into fascism and into a country of slavery (again) if we dont start advocating for workers rights and for the removal of the current admin. I use Linux, CalyxOS, I self host. I protest, I vote in local elections, and primaries. I like playing video games when I can bring myself to it. I have been enjoying the new DELTARUNE chapters, and am hoping to find a switch 2 (to keep offline and wait for homebrew)

The reason I mention these things is I feel so different from other people, and don't know if its possible to find people who will want to be friends with me now. I'm not in college anymore, I graduated and I live in a somewhat suburban area. I have an s/o, and they're supportive of my beliefs, but they also find it hard to make friends. Where should I go from here? Is my only solution really just sucking it up and have my internal monologue scream at me while listening to 'friends' talk about subjects and situations that trigger my inner activist to go off? Or are there possibly other people out there like me who I just haven't found yet? I know that friendships have to make compromises, but fuck if its hard to compromise on things you see as violating human rights.

I have had very few in my life, I think, but I feel as though those one or two experiences I had where strangers showed me compassion despite my difference may have shaped me into how I am today.

Do you feel like you had or have any role models? What do you like about them or what do you feel you would like to emulate from their behavior?

For me, my role models were just regular people. Once was with a substitute teacher and the other was a professor on campus. Both times I recall clearly and although the interactions only lasted for a few moments, I cherish them dearly.

One of them is me.

More comics: https://workchronicles.substack.com/

Has a small panic attack. Runs away forever. Repeat cycle in three days.

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/26811687

I don't take it very often because I don't want an addiction sneaking up on me, but it certainly makes crowds more manageable. almost enjoyable

woke up in a cold sweat this morning because I had to make an important business call this afternoon. spent about an hour using my coping mechanisms to talk myself out of it, but eventually had to take my valium

just finished the call, it went extremely well. not only did I make the sale, but there was like 40 minutes of rapport building.

is this what normal people feel like all the time?

Some personal examples that come to mind are:

• Being late for work because I heard the people in the apartment next to me leave and I waited five minutes so I wouldn't have to share the elevator

• Cleaning my house for two hours before strategically placing items I can talk about just so I can have a friend of multiple years over and after they left replaying things I said to make sure I didn't say anything embarrassing

• Not being able to look my Tinder date in the eyes even though we've been talking for a month and we had planned to have relations that evening

• Spending $200 on a sweater at a craft market because I worked up the courage to ask the price and couldn't bring myself to say no thanks

• Forgetting something I needed at a store and just leaving because I didn't want to face the cashier

They're all things that are silly in hindsight that I later realised the average person likely wouldn't have done. I know no one would have really cared in these situations.

Just curious what stories people have.

Anyone knows this sentence? I had a lot of people saying that when I was younger. I also knew alcohol would do magic to my anxiety.

By now I've learned that it doesn't need alcohol to have people actually liking you.

I mean. I'm still anxiety-me. But surrounding myself with people who like me.

And right now to feels useless to write this, like it doesn't have a point. Excuse me..

I hope your day is going well, and aren't too stressed 🤗.. ideally not stressed at all, but that would be a dream.

I haven't seen posts in this group in a hot minute and thought I'd add a small contribution to it.

Source: https://introvertdoodles.com/comic/how-anxious-are-you/

Marzi is ace and has some books available on Amazon!

This is the third draft of this post, as well.

I guess I might belong, eheh.

Heyyy, I am so sorry for missing two full weeks, and barely beeing online. Tl;dr: had a bad depressive episode. Yet i still managed to read all new posts and comments in the meantime. i apprechiate all you people very much, even when socialising can be impossible. Love to you all!

I recently started using breathing exercises for the first time in a few years when I'm feeling anxious, and they've been helping a lot. I hadn't quite realized how big of a difference actually going by time could make as opposed to just generally trying to slow my breathing - if you've never tried it I'd highly recommend it.

I'm having trouble finding the pattern(s) that work best, though. It seems to vary so much; one day one will feel claustrophobically slow and another day it's anxiety-inducingly fast, kinda defeating the purpose. But I don't want to abandon timing it altogether when my gut is apparently pretty bad at figuring out what is the right pace.

Maybe I'm just overthinking this, but I'd love to hear your opinions and experiences. Also, do you use any other physical strategies, like belly breathing?

Hey sorry for the delay. i had no acces to a computer, and the app doesnt give me the ability to pin posts. Have a nice week!

that's all