[Migrated, see pinned post] Casual Conversation

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We moved to !casualconversation@piefed.social please look for https://lemm.ee/post/66060114 in your instance search bar

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Even if I'm trying to avoid it I can't escape it (lemmings.world)

submitted 5 months ago by Platypus@lemmings.world to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

13 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Valentine's...

Another memo about my failure as an adult. At the warehouse I'm working lots of the package and merch are hearts, plushies, and similar heart shaped stuff, plus some Xmas decorations for some fucking reason...

Is there any way to escape it? I guess not. I probably wouldn't think too much about it if I was younger but since last week was my bday ready to remind me that I'm getting old... This back to back just crushes me.

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[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In-person friends are better than a spouse because it's expected to take breaks from time to time. Go travel, or hunker down. Then reconnect with them later. With a spouse you're not allowed to do that, and it erodes the value of the relationship.

To make in-person friends, I go to public places where I'm comfortable, and act respectfully.

I've had five or six long term partners and they've all turned into selfish, entitled children after the honeymoon phase ended. I'm telling you, it's overrated.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

That's a fair point. I have honestly never really sought out a partner before so I don't have much experience. But I do have experience with the disappointment of losing friends and/or not being able to do much with a friend because they have to prioritize their family above all else. It's perfectly understandable and not done in an argumentative or problematic way, but it does hurt sometimes. People grow apart from their friends as their friends' priorities and distances change.

So I've been more recently attempting to seek out a significant other because I want a friend who we will mutually prioritize and who won't be dipping out because of their children or otherwise drifting apart or etc. I don't even care about or want sex. I just want to have an equal.

It's maybe wishful thinking on my part. But that's my goal.

[–] Platypus@lemmings.world 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Never having intimacy or any type of relationship in these 35 years of my existence disagree with you. Yes, I would take being cheated on if that means breaking this black hole. Having something is always better than nothing.