this post was submitted on 25 Jul 2025
58 points (84.5% liked)

Ask Men

1836 readers
4 users here now

A community to ask men questions and discuss any and all issues relating to them.

Unlocking Perspectives, Advice, and Empowerment for Men Everywhere.

Rules

Follow the rules of lemmy.world, which can be found here.

Additionally:

  1. Be respectful and inclusive.
  2. No harassment, hate speech, or trolling.
  3. Engage in constructive discussions.
  4. Share relevant content.
  5. Follow guidelines and moderators' instructions.
  6. Use appropriate language and tone.
  7. Report violations.
  8. Foster a continuous learning environment.

Notes

P.S, Would you like to help with moderating AskMen? Send a PM to the top mod.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Iceblade02@lemmy.world
Crackhappy@lemmy.world
58
Why do men keep on having dates with me and then eventually leave? (lemmy.zip)
submitted 3 days ago by choihanna@lemmy.zip to c/askmen@lemmy.world
75 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago

Looking over all the comments you've made, I think what you're running into is an issue with the limitations of dating apps. There's only so much you can have on them up front, so a lot of the real work has to come later. So all you're really able to screen for is the absolute basics.

This means that you'll get matches that aren't good matches, but neither of you know it ahead of time.

So you end up with matches that aren't interested in you as a person, just their idea of what you might be. Since ideas and reality rarely come together, you end up with mostly false matches. It's not even because you're trans, though that does change and limit how many initial interests you'll get. Cis women have the same trouble. Hell, men have the same trouble tbh, it's just that dating apps skew the kind of interactions you can have so that men very rarely are in the position you're in. Being trans just amplifies the flaws inherent to the system