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Does anyone else feel worried when you see a big number in the Lemmy notification inbox?
(futurology.today)
this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025
174 points (96.3% liked)
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Finally someone who agrees with me and validates my fragile ego and childish vulnerabilities. Thanks. You made my day!
Usually, my inbox has like 1 or 2 replies, but anything bigger than that makes me think I must have screwed up somehow. For whaever reason, it just doesn’t cross my mind that all those comments could be neutral or even positive.
Well there's another stressful element that even if they are mostly positive or asking for further information, it's still a pile of "work I gotta do."
But remember, you don't actually have to respond to them. You can just click all the little check marks and move on. If you don't like what they said, there's always the down arrow. Or the up to acknowledge their support.
I don't, for instance, expect any kind of reply from you.
If it helps, remember that a ton of downvotes will knock your comment right off most people's feed. And unlike the R place, that number isn't going to follow you around forever.
If you're being misinterpreted, you can always add an edit, see if it helps.
In any case, Lemmy is a place for discussion. If you have responses, that means you contributed to the conversation. You didn't mess up. Even if you were completely Wrong, it gives an opportunity for lots of other people to post the Correction.
Yeah, I try to think about the number in a more neutral/positive way, even though my initial emotional reaction could be less helpful. You're absolutely right that those are also opportunities to learn.
That's actually one of the best things about Lemmy, and even Reddit to some extent. Let's say you think you know something about a specific topic (like maps, steam locomotives, pharmacology or whatever), because you read an article about it 5 years ago. You write a short comment based on what you think you know, and then someone with a PhD in underwater basket weaving corrects you, because you didn't get half the details right. That should be taken as an opportunity, but it doesn't always feel like that. Even when the comment is helpful and friendly, I still know I screwed up. It's not a big deal, but my feelings aren't rational about these things.