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Honestly, it should be a Signal bot. Self hostable, or with a website somewhere outside the US run by someone who is never coming here, if your group is not into doing self hosting. We should be in this for the long haul and encouraging good practices, I think. It freaks me out that people are using Reddit for 50501 and putting this stuff on their phones where they can see who has it installed.
I cannot tell you how many conversations I've had with people that work in tech, and theoretically (?) know some history about how things have come and gone - they might even remember things like AIM or Yahoo messenger, etc., might be aware, vaguely, about XMPP or Matrix or IRC, and yet....they rush to use wholly corporate owned and controlled things like Slack which does not have E2E encryption and probably never will, or Discord, or....
The problem with most of the "techbros" is that most people either don't know any history and are not encouraged to learn it, either, because, well, that's "old", so what could you possibly learn from it, or there is just so much hivemind thinking that even people that do know history tend to be fearful of bringing it up, else they look like they aren't "cool".
It's all rather embarrassing to watch, really, as someone that actively DID seek to learn from my elders in tech and have been doing this for decades. The overall industry seems to have the memory of a coked-up goldfish.
I hear you. That network effect is insidious.
I really like tinkering with trying to make things a community would use. I have my home server, and I just set up a Luanti / Minetest server, and I want to dabble in MeshTastic, and get people to use Matrix and Signal instead of Discord.
....and then I just think nobody will bother anyway, so... :(
Sadly the bigtech powers have overcome the required "friction" of consideration and discernment when it comes to choosing how one communicates.
When you're comfortable, it's easy not to give a shit. "Maus" gives a pretty terrifying picture of hanging out with people like this, in 1930s eastern Europe, and their lack of concern.