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Lemmings who made it out of incel-dom, what advice would you have to your previous self? (poptalk.scrubbles.tech)

submitted 1 week ago by scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I made a similar post a couple of years ago, but I think it's time again after seeing a few nice-guy/incel posts here. So, guys who have made it to the other side, what would you say to your previous self? I'll leave my own personal answer in a comment below.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Ask you friends about the kinds of women they like (I’m assuming Incels are almost all strait guys). I almost guarantee most of them will have different preferences. Look around at the people you know with partners. The whole spectrum of people out there have all different kinds of partners. You don’t have to be a Chris Hemsworth type, or a Taylor Swift type. Most people aren’t professionally hot, and they still date and fuck all the time. Re calibrate your expectations, for you partner sure, but also yourself.

I've noticed women seem to fall into the "one ideal body" kind of thinking quite often as well. Obviously, the resulting breakdown takes different forms than inceldom, but they're still plenty bad.

[–] Brutticus@midwest.social 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

They absolutely do, maybe even more than men, because sexualization and body image issues are so reinforced among women to almost be completely normalized. The obvious differences are obviously due to the object-holder dynamic. Women are told they are pretty objects to be possessed, while men are told they are owed such objects.

lol I'm not even a philosopher I feel like Im talking out my ass. I hope I'm still making sense. I'm also preeminently unqualified to give advice about to anyone except strait guys.