this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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I want to do art, to exercise, to UNKAOSβ¦
But it all takes energy and feels pointless
I spent many years of my life not doing things that could benefit me because of all the self-talk. Everything feels too hard or pointless or overwhelming or I won't enjoy it. I don't know about your situation, but it's tricky to recognise that sometimes your brain can be bullshitting you. Put on a five minute timer and start with something that can be done from where you are now! Like Zen Colour or something. I personally like doing the wordle.
Edit: I feel like the miserable has to outweigh the not wanting to do things. Takes time. Think of your values. I should too.
For me that self talk was introjects, me repeating what I had been taught or bullied into thinking and doing.
and yes on the brain bs, emotion especially. All that talk you hear about , your emotions are valid and real, that's bs. That's what abusers want us to to react to. We need to listen to good sense.
The truly hard part is realising the origin of the negative self talk comes from other people, people we trusted and who we thought had our best interest at heart.
Think about what people say to you, does it make you feel stronger, does it make you happy.
I'm older now and still fighting bs in my head every single day.
But I am totes winning. I have the Seagoons now who I trust . I have some more wisdom too.
You go, Seagoon!!
I think all emotions are valid, but it's what you do with them that matters. E.g. feeling jealous or angry, people shame others for it. What they should be shaming is the behaviour that comes in response to those emotions. I'm a big fan of responding over reacting.
It's also important to remember that just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean everything is that way. I constantly feel like I'm doomed. Or in social situations, if I feel awkward, I must be awkward and unlikeable. But then I remember I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a beautiful dog sleeping somewhere in the next room. I have had some successful social interactions and made some good connections. That doesn't invalidate the shitty feelings, but it helps to put things in perspective for me.
Oh also with the negative self-talk coming from other people, it makes me think about how young kids don't really have any of that at first, but then they're socialised to loathe themselves. I wonder if it's nature or nurture here. I think it has to do with our need to belong as well.
sadly they can learn negative talk in infancy
Infants that are not nurtured, whose emotional health is neglected don't learn emotional regulation and they learn that people aren't to be trusted, not even mothers.
No. Not all emotions are valid. Many are stupid and useless. I say this as someone who had severe crippling PTSD, emotions can suck, they can be based on insane ideas in your head , they can be destructive.
Note your emotions, question your emotions. Even good emotions.
Are your emotions coming from your true self, are they informing you?
I believe the "your emotions are valid" idea has some merit, but only in the context of not being critical of yourself for feeling them. Accepting that you are feeling something can be an important part in the process of then stepping back and questioning why you are feeling it and whether it is appropriate for the situation you are in.
Yep, this is exactly what I meant. Thanks for articulating it so well.
Do a tiny bit of each, the pointless feeling is the resistance. 3 x 10 push ups against the kitchen counter and same squats sitting into a chair, you've got all day. Do the dishes. Draw a bird or some faces or a scene for a few minutes. If you don't have a lot of energy, aim to only spend a little lest your cup run empty.