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Lemmings who made it out of incel-dom, what advice would you have to your previous self?
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this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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Girls want guys who are happy on their own first. Nobody wants to be responsible for someone else's entire happiness.
That's why they tell you to get a hobby with a community, it's to be happy on your own. It isn't so you can meet girls who like the same things you do (although that can happen), it's so that girls can be attracted to the fact that you go get what you want and enjoy your life.
It's hard if you're depressed and it feels pointless at first. Do it anyway, and don't do it to meet women. Do it to be happier.
When you drop the bitterness of being an incel and fill your life with friends and hobbies, you'll immediately become more attractive.
Very very true. Incels are quick to assume that women only like manly men or jocks or whatever, and in high school I kind of get that because that's all you see. But then you leave and you start to see that those stereotypes are just a high school thing. I go to comiccons and the ratio of men to women are honestly pretty even, same with video game conventions. With most things, I'm sure the needle moves back and forth, but whatever your interest is, there are also women who like that. Being genuinely interesting to talk to is much more fun than the sarcastic gatekeeper who doesn't socialize.