this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 26 points 5 days ago (3 children)

What happens if we live in a timeline where it turns out that Trump is like, Olympic level blowjob giver?

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 55 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'd love if Clinton came out and said that trump was bad at it, trump's ego won't let him be bad at anything so you know that he'll come out the gate with a, "I give great blow jobs. The best of blow jobs. People always say 'Wow Mr. President, you just blew my mind, and my dick.' like all time."

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 29 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is the masterstroke.

Trump wouldn't be able to let this go. He would necessarily go into Kim Jong Un level hyperbole about how great his blowjobs are.

[–] Geobloke@aussie.zone 7 points 5 days ago
[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

He's not and you know he's not.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I feel like the best people at oral have empathy, and Trump sure as hell doesn't.

Also he would have a heart attack if he tried.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Yeah but like...

What if he was..

What was it Louis Armstrong said? probably the best trumpet player never seen a 🎺?

Maybe Bill Clinton's dong was Trump's French horn?

[–] cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

No man, he can't suck dick, he has never in his life had the athleticism necessary for it.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Queue rocky training montage but it's him practicing to get strong enough to suck dick by opening cans of diet coke and lifting McDonald's bags

Would watch.

But you know he doesn't open his own coke.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

I would be 100% okay with the knowledge that the only thing Trump is good at is sucking dick.