this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2025
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No children. So many reasons.
I have zero maternal instinct. I have no idea how to talk to children, it's actually really funny. Give me an animal and I instinctively can care for it, intuit its needs, communicate with it, etc, but throw a baby or a small human at me and I'm like "what do I do with this thing and how do I talk to it?"
I also have ADHD that wasn't diagnosed until my 30s and am so far behind my peers in life. I deal with the depression, anxiety, and shame that go along with that. I struggle to take care of myself, specifically when it comes to food and healthy eating habits. For some reason preparing food and eating itself just really annoys me and I've gone several days forgetting to eat before realizing the reason I feel like shit is because I haven't eaten. The thought of having to plan and prepare meals for a child multiple times a day for years sounds like hell.
I also get sensory overload very easily. I absolutely love cuddling and being touched and honestly crave it, but there's also a switch in my had that will just shut off and I need to be able to be like no that's enough no more. I can do that with an adult, but if that was my child that would be incredibly hurtful to them in a lifelong way. I wouldn't want my child to have lifelong scars remembering that their mother pushed them away and wouldn't cuddle with them. I also hate loud noises, especially normal children noises.
I had an abusive childhood and I truly don't know what being a good parent looks like or discipline that isn't abuse. There's also financial reasons and selfish reasons. I like being free to do whatever I want whenever I want. I'm an introvert and I work in healthcare, so I spend long hours being "on" and when I come home I like to just be able to crash and not have the responsibility of caring for another person.
I've never had the urge to have a child, and that's good, because I would want to be a good mother but I truly wouldn't be. As the child of a mother who never wanted me and did her best to pretend but was abusive, it would kill me to know that I fucked up and left lifelong scars on another child. I'm in my 30s and still have nightmares about my mother and I would rather die than inflict any of that on someone else. But I'm very single and don't see that changing anytime soon and thankfully I also was able to get surgically sterilized so I don't ever have to worry about it.