this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Do they try converting their guards and cellmates? Do they get in conflicts with the gangs? How do they adjust from being worshiped to just being another criminal? Or go from being leader of their compound to being put in solitary?

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[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

Dang, it's pretty common behavior, unfortunately. I've been guilty of it.

You've recognized your manipulating behavior; that means you can change it.

It doesn't sound like you should interact with this woman you're referring to any more, because an apology may not help her with what's already happened and being around you at all could upset her more.

But the world is big and keeps going on. You could try to make amends by being supportive and helpful to other people, even those you don't know yet, counter your negative experiences with positive ones.

Maybe one day after you're more in control of those manipulative tendencies, the opportunity will come up for you to apologize.

If it doesn't, it doesn't, but you can become a positive experience in people's lives going forward, regardless.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

fuck, yeah....too late for that, just edited my post with more info. didnt think you'd respond so quickly

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

If it goes through, it goes, if it doesn't it doesn't.

If you've already upset her enough that she's cut contact, she likely won't respond either way.

And either way, you can let her get back to her life and try to become a positive experience in other people's lives going forward.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago) (1 children)

thankfully they live on other side of country, so we really should never run into each other again unless the fates deem it so.

it was kind of a "girl from highschool i had always wanted to ask out, but never had the confidence to"-scenario. childhood trauma from my time at that school made me remember it, and eventually her, so I looked her up...see how she was doing, noticed she was still single, figured I'd take my shot. let my emotions get the best of me I guess (really got to be cognizant of these acid flashbacks, till the trauma is all worked through)...

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Now you know!

You took a shot, didn't hit it's done, somewhere in there is something you can use to positive effect in the future.

[–] IronBird@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

lol for sure.

like reminding myself i'm almost 30, can't be approaching woman like a highschooler. been out of the game too long i guess

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 51 minutes ago)

Yup. Great point.