this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2026
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As a guy, I never really felt comfortable saying those things to anyone irl.

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[–] atro_city@fedia.io 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I tell my family I love them, I tell my best friends I love them, I hug people I care about, I tell them I miss them, they've seen me cry. It doesn't make me feel any less of a man. If somebody says it does, they aren't somebody I want to close with. Fuck em.

[–] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I wish I could be you, and I have a dear friend who is as liberal with his truth.

I worry so many of us suffered unintentional neglect during times of crises - divorces, poverty-driven migration, etc - because everyone had to cope and keep working and was exhausted in the rebuild, that we aren't as free with our feelings as we should be because we didn't see or get the practice.

And poor people don't get professional help to course-correct since they're barely food-secure.

But you're awesome. And every time I see a grown-ass man displaying physical parental affection for his child - a kiss, a hug, snuggling a sleepy babeh, all that - I know that child has amazing potential to express his/her own affection without so much reservation.

It's a good trend. Keep it up.

[–] atro_city@fedia.io 2 points 6 days ago

Be the change you want to see in the world. Sometimes it has to be introduced slowly and with compassion, sometimes it has to be radical as it can be urgent. Even in African villages where men are committing suicide, they create safe spaces to talk about their feelings. (I think this is one of the videos on the topic - can't watch it due to age gate).

It's not easy and everybody's path is different. If you can't find somebody locally (friend(s) or therapist), you can start online. It helped me too. But always try and stay critical. Many self-help groups for me are taken over by right-wingers who say "you can be yourself here", make men feel safe and then give them a scapegoat (immigrants, women, whatever) and spread hate towards other groups.

I was very lucky to grow up in the environment and places I did, and recognise that not everybody can be so lucky.

Best of luck and hope that you will be able to make those connections that allow you express your feelings ❤️ Emotions are human.