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this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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Every day when I wake up, the first thing is to check my phone if that fucker's dead yet.
I think you just explained why I do this. I thought I had just developed an addiction to the news over the past six months, but this hit me.
Matrix has you
What’re you tryin’ to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?
No, what i am saying is, you won't have to
Do you think that's RSS you're reading?
This hook you're describing is intentional
I check the front page of the newspaper for obituaries. The guy says they're in the back. I tell them not the one I'm looking for.
And putin.
And many many more..
Edit: not saying that I actively check all these, I'm saying that these are (mostly) other prime examples of people whose demise will likely noticeably benefit humanity as a whole.
Is the Tom Hanks thing a joke or do I not know something
"Yes" to the former, "probably" to the latter 🤷🏻
I would assume it hints to this video of Tom Hanks and Arya Starks list of people she wants to kill
https://youtu.be/Uj6iT_zQTk8
Tom Hanks, but no Garth Brooks? The man's a monster
He's not important enough to be specifically named but he's included in "and many many more" 😉
Nah, Garth Brooks is alright, but Chris Gaines is probably a serial killer.
Chris Gaines is definitely responsible for all the bodies. That's why Garth can never remember any of it when confronted. Advanced Disillusionary Schizophrenia with Involuntary Narcissistic Rage
Without your edit I was gonna be like damn man, that's a lot of people to be waking up each day checking to see if they died yet.
Perfect 👌
Should make bingo cards.
There's definitely a list. But Trump is number one.
For me it's him, Putin and any billionaire.
Is there a newsletter but it's just about what evil person has died for that day? I feel like there's a good market for that.
How do I sign up for this?
Or if he has dropped a nuke yet.
Same, friend. Same.
Why would you want to start pretty much every day with depressing news?
There will be a day when it's not depressing.