this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2026
712 points (99.2% liked)

Not The Onion

21227 readers
2001 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] SippyCup@lemmy.world 33 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (3 children)

INNNNN THIS CORNER, wearing all white and a skull cap, he's the Vicar of Christ, the Bishop of Rome, the SUCCESSOR to the Price of the Apostles, iiiiiiiIIIITS POPE LEO THE FOURTEENTH!!

And in THIS CORNER, wearing a tailored suit and red tie, Couch fucker, white trash cosplayer and world's worst negotiator, John Dilbert Vaaaaaaance!

[–] Rooster326@programming.dev 1 points 4 hours ago

Pretty sure they would ring him up as the Undefeated Champion, The one, The only, Pope Killing, Couching Fucking Monster Jack Daniels.... (What that's not what it means?)...John Dilbert

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

LMAO - also is his name really John Dilbert?

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 24 points 13 hours ago

Had to look it up myself

James David Vance (born James Donald Bowman

Looks like he had him a gender-affirming name change.

[–] dizzle18@lemmy.zip 5 points 14 hours ago

This would be fantastic. We can even honor Leo’s Chicago roots by playing Alan Parsons Project during his intro.