Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
Please make sure you read our rules before posting.
Rules:
Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
1: Treat all users with respect. [!]
The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.
2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]
Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.
3: All posts must be a request for advice.
All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.
4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.
Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.
Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.
Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
Reddit reposts are allowed.
As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
How are rules enforced and bans applied?
For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.
For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
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1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.
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2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.
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3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.
The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.
Exceptions:
While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.
Related communities:
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Adulting: !adulting@lemmy.world
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No Stupid Questions: !nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
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Mental Health !mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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Literally just talk to her about how you feel.
It might be that she just wants someone in the masculine role, and you fulfill that. You have [any] in your name, so presumably you are happy with masculine pronouns.
Or maybe she does literally want a man, and does not expect your relationship to last.
The pain you are feeling is coming less from any actual rejection, and more from the uncertainty of where you stand in the relationship. Resolve the uncertainty, and most of your problems solve themselves. It goes one of three ways:
Importantly, DO NOT take the forth option: She says her phrasing is intentional, and she doesn't consider you a potential life partner. You don't like this, but stick around anyway with the intention of convincing her that you are a good life partner for her. This is neediness, and it will end poorly. If she has self respect, she might break up with you as your neediness becomes more apparent. Or she might stick with you until someone she likes with a dick comes along. If she lacks self respect, she might stick with you for a while, and maybe you'll even get married and spend your lives together. But this is a recipie for bitterness - you will always know that you are not really what she really wanted, and that she settled for you because she didn't have the courage or initiative to get what she did want. And more importantly, you will have to live with the fact that you settled for her, instead of having the courage and initiative to chase what you really want - someone who wants you for who you are.
There is a way to thread the needle - but it requires option (2). You stay with her, but importantly, must completely accept that it is not a long term relationship, and you should be looking for other, better options. Then, maybe you end up together for the rest of your lives because maybe she comes around. But if you find yourself thinking of your future together, or wondering when she will come around, then you are in option (4), and should break off the relationship.