this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2026
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I totally believe there is someone for everyone. But given the amount of people around you and the number of combinations there is a very distinct possibility you may never meet them. It's basically a math problem. Well computer science (and possibly economics… can't remember), lookup the stable matching problem if you really wanna nerd out.
I'm sorry you have run into that. I can't help that some people are just racist assholes but I understand how that could make it difficult. My entire life has pretty much been in academia so I don't really see that side of people very often. I guess the more educated someone is the less racist they tend to be.
I consider myself very lucky in that I have quite a few friends. Some for as long as 35+ years. But the one trick that I have found to making friends is pretty simple… well its at least worked for me… just be interested in whatever they are interested in. I mean don't be someone you're not, but just finding their passions worthy of discussion almost always gets my foot in the door. Eventually, unless there are just a narcisstic asshole, it will be recriprocatedI. If they are that selfish and just use you, you really don't want them for a friend anyways.