this post was submitted on 12 Apr 2024
515 points (97.6% liked)

Funny

10736 readers
640 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] teft@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Isn't one of their big rules "Be fruitful and multiply"?

I take that to mean getting railed in sundresses is perfectly christian.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And the Lord commandeth, "Go forth and do some ho shit"

[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Do some shit" definitely implies anal.

[–] ivanafterall@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Go fourth" suggests a group setting.

[–] msage@programming.dev 6 points 1 year ago

'Go forth and receive eternal life.'

But John came fifth and won a toaster.

[–] shadearg@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And by be fruitful and multiply he clearly meant, only having sex with the lights out, under the covers, in the missionary position, for the sole purpose of procreation.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also female orgasm is a sin, she's basically whore then and probably would also enjoy it with others

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not just a sin, but also a myth. Only men can orgasm!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Who was that Republican dude whose wife said something like women don't orgasm and a women getting wet is a medical issue? That poor girl.

[–] medgremlin@midwest.social 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That was Ben Shapiro's wife who, I believe, is a physician. She's got some interesting cognitive dissonance going on.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I personally know a gynecologist who, in her thirties, was still uneducated on the wonders of receiving oral sex, on the existence of the G spot, etc. Apparently they don't really have time for that sort of stuff in the cursus in a lot of countries. Sexual health doesn't include pleasure, it seems.
Which is to say, unless it comes from personal experience, they won't be advocating for that sort of stuff.
So it makes perfect sense if that lady is a strict Christian who married her "first love" and isn't really a medical gynecologist and he's the typical "i need a wife who's a virgin so I'll never gave to make an effort because she'll never know any better" dude. That poor woman should shut the fuck up though.

[–] Cignul9@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Ben Shapiro. That poor dude’s wife.

[–] andrewta@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Only if it involves getting nailed while on a cross

Yeah I'm going to hell.

[–] Beardedsausag3@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

I'll keep you company, I laughed

[–] Marin_Rider@aussie.zone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

imagine getting nailed so hard they make 4 extra holes

[–] joshoff@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 year ago

A night with my ex and our buddies