Why are they not talking about couches? What have they got to hide? Seems kinda suspicious.
this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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I agree. It seems like something you'd deny outright. It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker, or if MAGA republicans endorse couch-fucking. Is this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.
Probably gonna need a congressional inquiry to get to the bottom of this one.
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This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.
It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch
Wonder if it'll happen
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
I did not have sexual relations with that couch
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"It depends on what the meaning of the word ~~'is'~~ couch, is"
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You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it's some kind of silly joke?
Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.
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“We do not want to risk Mr. Vance getting an erection on stage.”
Oh please can we incept some weird mental link in his head between coaches and sex, I say send fan art
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You don't have to talk to em, you just walk right up and grab em by the cushy
Furnitussy
Apparently, the only way to get under their skin is to sink down to their level a bit. It's funny how much attention some of this stuff actually got. They are just so weird!
It's not even close to sinking to their level. This shit is harmless. That makes it especially hilarious to see them blow a gasket over something so lame. Trump wants to take his ball and go home.
No, convicted felon, and genuinely weird creepy Donald Trump, will take your ball and go home.
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That’s ok because the rest of us are having great fun discussing it because it’s sofa king hilarious
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C’mon Vance, don’t be a La-Z-Boy, answer the questions about your sectionality
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I understand, I don't like when people bring up my ex either.
That’s because Flipper Vance is getting too much attention with all this couch action.
Anyday now Trump will crack and announce that he had lots of couches back in his day more than anyone and when your rich they let you do it to their couches with tears in their eyes saying thank you sir. Big strong men with big strong couches. Some of them were on the younger side to be sure but they liked the couches as much as I did.
I want this to happen to so bad. This is peak "life is absurd" moment.
A US candidate for President gets so upset that their VP is hogging all the news about a shit post about fucking a couch.
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Vladimir Futon.
“Not going to talk about couches”? Oh yes you are. You’ve been hoisted by your own petard, and you’re gonna stay up there till we decide to take you down (we won’t, you deserve it).
Trump campaign refuses to deny that Vance sexually assaulted a love seat
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From the article:
That's spurred criticism from the right that — even if the meme is tongue-in-cheek — Democrats are spreading baseless lies about one of their political opponents.
Because the Republicans would never stoop to such a low!
"I did not have sexual relations with that settee!"
Sectional relations
The fact they even have to say this in a PR release....WOW!
Imagine being the person who just made a small little joke online that's now changed the direction of the election in a way
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Wow. Their silence on couches is deafening. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?!
We're gonna talk about them endlessly.
Hmm curious why would Trump campaign hide this info from the voters?? Did Vance really fuck the couches and the internet just guessed right????
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Convicted felon Donald Project 2025 Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches', in reference to JD Couch Fucker Vance
COUCHES are being used in SCHOOLS to FORCE kids to have sex! We need to BAN these sick perverted couches. THEY want your children to stop having kids.
GET THEM OUT OF SCHOOLS
Or something deranged like that.
If their voters are willing to wear t-shirts saying "real men wear diapers", we need to get in on this racket and sell "real men fuck couches" and "better a couch-fucker than a Democrat!" shirts, then after a certain threshold of sales and enough time for Vance and Trump to notice and comment on the phenomenon, we can reveal that the profits are being donated to Kamala and that every shirt sold has a secret message written around the image in a tiny font that says "if you can read this, you're a fucking moron".
Don't worry, we'll talk about it for you
Sounds like it just did
They're really trying to couch the narrative.
They could have memed it to hell and back with stuff like "I did not have a sexual relationship with that furniture mr. Clinton" or "only inanimate thing im horny for is democracy" but they had to go full serious damage control mode. Like, if they told us there are no aliens invading and put soldiers in the streets we would look out for ufos. What did they think they were going to gain by that kind of response? Completely detached from the ether, they are.
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