this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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politics

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[–] kvasir476@lemmy.world 194 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Why are they not talking about couches? What have they got to hide? Seems kinda suspicious.

[–] aaron@lemm.ee 55 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I agree. It seems like something you'd deny outright. It raises questions about whether or not Trump is a couch-fucker, or if MAGA republicans endorse couch-fucking. Is this their political agenda? To fuck my couch? Or your couch? Are they recruiting my furniture into their couch-fucking culture? There are a lot of questions here.

[–] kvasir476@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Probably gonna need a congressional inquiry to get to the bottom of this one.

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 26 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I found some instructional material that might be helpful to Vance

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[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 121 points 10 months ago (2 children)

This was just a silly joke that got WAY out of hand. The author isn’t even trying to claim it’s real. Getting defensive and angry is the worst possible way to respond - therefore, I hope they keep doing it.

[–] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 41 points 10 months ago (4 children)

It would be something to see a headline about JD Vance denying having relations with a couch

Wonder if it'll happen

[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 37 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

I did not have sexual relations with that couch

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[–] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

"It depends on what the meaning of the word ~~'is'~~ couch, is"

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not to completion, at least.

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[–] aaron@lemm.ee 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)

You think fucking couches is a joke? Furniture abortions are at an all-time high and you think it's some kind of silly joke?

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

Come on. You and I both know that those stats are cushioned.

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[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 108 points 10 months ago (3 children)

“We do not want to risk Mr. Vance getting an erection on stage.”

[–] HWK_290@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Interviewer: Please, take a seat

JD: Ummm, here? Really?

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[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh please can we incept some weird mental link in his head between coaches and sex, I say send fan art

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[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 105 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You don't have to talk to em, you just walk right up and grab em by the cushy

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 17 points 10 months ago
[–] aturtlesdream@lemmy.world 68 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Apparently, the only way to get under their skin is to sink down to their level a bit. It's funny how much attention some of this stuff actually got. They are just so weird!

[–] SGforce@lemmy.ca 51 points 10 months ago (15 children)

It's not even close to sinking to their level. This shit is harmless. That makes it especially hilarious to see them blow a gasket over something so lame. Trump wants to take his ball and go home.

[–] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

No, convicted felon, and genuinely weird creepy Donald Trump, will take your ball and go home.

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 55 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That’s ok because the rest of us are having great fun discussing it because it’s sofa king hilarious

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[–] DogPeePoo@lemm.ee 54 points 10 months ago (2 children)

C’mon Vance, don’t be a La-Z-Boy, answer the questions about your sectionality

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[–] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 42 points 10 months ago (1 children)

🎶We don't talk about couches, no no no🎶

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[–] Bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 10 months ago

I understand, I don't like when people bring up my ex either.

[–] Minarble@aussie.zone 39 points 10 months ago (4 children)

That’s because Flipper Vance is getting too much attention with all this couch action.

Anyday now Trump will crack and announce that he had lots of couches back in his day more than anyone and when your rich they let you do it to their couches with tears in their eyes saying thank you sir. Big strong men with big strong couches. Some of them were on the younger side to be sure but they liked the couches as much as I did.

[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I want this to happen to so bad. This is peak "life is absurd" moment.

A US candidate for President gets so upset that their VP is hogging all the news about a shit post about fucking a couch.

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[–] boaratio@lemmy.world 37 points 10 months ago

Vladimir Futon.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Narrator: “they’re totally going to talk about couches.”

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[–] ZhaoYadang@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (4 children)

“Not going to talk about couches”? Oh yes you are. You’ve been hoisted by your own petard, and you’re gonna stay up there till we decide to take you down (we won’t, you deserve it).

[–] Passerby6497@lemmy.world 26 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Trump campaign refuses to deny that Vance sexually assaulted a love seat

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[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 34 points 10 months ago

From the article:

That's spurred criticism from the right that — even if the meme is tongue-in-cheek — Democrats are spreading baseless lies about one of their political opponents.

Because the Republicans would never stoop to such a low!

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"I did not have sexual relations with that settee!"

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 10 months ago

Sectional relations

[–] just_another_person@lemmy.world 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The fact they even have to say this in a PR release....WOW!

[–] usernamesAreTricky@lemmy.ml 31 points 10 months ago (4 children)

Imagine being the person who just made a small little joke online that's now changed the direction of the election in a way

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[–] art@lemmy.world 32 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Wow. Their silence on couches is deafening. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE?!

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 28 points 10 months ago

We're gonna talk about them endlessly.

[–] FerroMeow@lemmy.world 28 points 10 months ago (6 children)

Hmm curious why would Trump campaign hide this info from the voters?? Did Vance really fuck the couches and the internet just guessed right????

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[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 27 points 10 months ago

Convicted felon Donald Project 2025 Trump's campaign says it's 'not going to talk about couches', in reference to JD Couch Fucker Vance

[–] bquintb@midwest.social 25 points 10 months ago (4 children)
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[–] fox2263@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

COUCHES are being used in SCHOOLS to FORCE kids to have sex! We need to BAN these sick perverted couches. THEY want your children to stop having kids.

GET THEM OUT OF SCHOOLS

Or something deranged like that.

[–] 58008@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

If their voters are willing to wear t-shirts saying "real men wear diapers", we need to get in on this racket and sell "real men fuck couches" and "better a couch-fucker than a Democrat!" shirts, then after a certain threshold of sales and enough time for Vance and Trump to notice and comment on the phenomenon, we can reveal that the profits are being donated to Kamala and that every shirt sold has a secret message written around the image in a tiny font that says "if you can read this, you're a fucking moron".

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (8 children)
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[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 18 points 10 months ago

Don't worry, we'll talk about it for you

[–] recapitated@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago

Sounds like it just did

[–] dezmd@lemmy.world 16 points 10 months ago

They're really trying to couch the narrative.

[–] voldage@lemmy.world 14 points 10 months ago

They could have memed it to hell and back with stuff like "I did not have a sexual relationship with that furniture mr. Clinton" or "only inanimate thing im horny for is democracy" but they had to go full serious damage control mode. Like, if they told us there are no aliens invading and put soldiers in the streets we would look out for ufos. What did they think they were going to gain by that kind of response? Completely detached from the ether, they are.

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