this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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[–] NarrativeNavigator@lemmy.basedcount.com 75 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

The Kraft Method

Note: this is a shit post. I still swear it is impossible.

https://imgur.io/gallery/yY59P

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 13 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The post does not say that you will be able to penetrate with the index finger. It just recommends to place the finger that way.

[–] robdor@lemmynsfw.com 7 points 2 years ago

If you want to be able to penetrate with an index finger, I'm off work in about 2 hours. Wait....what?

I feel the secret might be how the thumb and middle finger squeeze the sides of the box.

I'll try it out someday, but I probably won't report back. (Don't want to get your hopes up).

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago

while you kiss your ass goodbye, and the box of noodles and cheesy flavoring defeats you yet again

[–] AcornCarnage@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

I always go thumb from the top, so pretty much same position as photo 2. Still not happening.

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[–] over_clox@lemmy.world 61 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I just boil and eat the entire box like any normal person.

[–] IDontHavePantsOn@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago

I pay for the box. I eat the box.

[–] delvan@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago

Most of the nutrients are in the rind, I'm aghast to learn that most people just throw the box away!

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 5 points 2 years ago

If it tastes like it looks on the package, a viable option. Has probably more nutritional value, too.

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[–] jennwiththesea@lemmy.world 52 points 2 years ago

The one that kills me is when the glue they use to close the box is stronger than the box itself, so you wind up just ripping it open.

[–] AcornCarnage@lemmy.world 49 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I swear to God, in all my life I feel like it's only worked fewer than 5 times.

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[–] Curious_Canid@lemmy.ca 42 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You're not extending your chi through your finger when you push. The instructions take that for granted, but they really should be more specific.

[–] Terevos@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I tried extending my chi, but it just made my jar of salsa fall on the floor and shatter.

[–] Chriszz@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

You didn’t expand your ki so you didn’t notice the chili fall. Idiot.

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[–] SteveDinn@lemmy.ca 37 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I think you all just have weak thumbs. I've always opened them just as the package says to. Never had a problem.

As a kid, I would have thumb wrestling matches with my older brother, and sometimes, on weekends, I'd hitchhike. I used my thumbs a lot. I've had to replace 4 space bars on my keyboard.

Never skip thumb day.

[–] regular_human@lemmy.world 44 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Me and the boys on thumb day

[–] TitanLaGrange@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's thumbthing weird about that image.

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[–] vlad76@lemmy.sdf.org 32 points 2 years ago

It's possible, but it's a very high Dex roll.

[–] Ganbat@lemmyonline.com 24 points 2 years ago

90% of the time the whole box collapses before the perforation breaks.

[–] CaptainFortissimo@lemmy.world 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I actually just recently, after years of frustration, figured out a technique that works. You squeeze the box near the opening so that it bulges out. Then you can poke it with your finger and rip the top open. Feels like gutting a fish, which I assume now is what they were going for.

[–] Jamie@jamie.moe 9 points 2 years ago

I usually just knuckle-punch them in.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 21 points 2 years ago

It's not that your thumbs aren't strong enough, it's that they aren't sharp enough.

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It’s not you. The only person that consistently works for is Freddy Krueger.

[–] shanjezi@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Edward Scissorhands

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Companies do a really bad job at product testing when it comes to opening stuff. The best ones are where you damage the product because it's so hard to open. It's like they never thought to actually try using the stupid little pull tab they give us to actually open their own product.

[–] cubedsteaks@lemmy.today 6 points 2 years ago (4 children)

there is nothing more infuriating than buying a jar of salsa from the store, and then trying to open it only to have the jar fly out of your hands and break into tiny pieces that you now have to clean up along with salsa all over your floor.

[–] Anamnesis@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Why is everyone in this thread absolutely mangling jars of salsa

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

I just rip open the top of the box instead.

That's right, I'm a rebel.

[–] Dick_Justice@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You know, I was just thinking earlier this week that of all the technologies we have, it's weird how much we struggle with perforation.

[–] blivet@artemis.camp 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This sort of package used to be much easier to open when I was growing up back in the 60s and 70s. I don’t know why, but packaging has gotten significantly worse since then.

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[–] Naja_Kaouthia@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I ignore these instructions entirely and just open the flappy bits. I am an agent of chaos.

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[–] dmention7@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

Good God, the number of products where someone spent the time and effort to design in "systems" for opening/using the package, which are utterly ineffectual is mind boggling.

Did a flimsy cardboard box ever need some special tear tab to begin with?? Hell no, just glue the flap shut and we will open it like every other food box on the planet.

Shit that is infuriating.

[–] garretble@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

I got a different brand of Mac and cheese once and it opened right up using the same instructions.

I feel like the name brand is just messing with people.

[–] Diabolo96@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 years ago

The Weaklings must be sacrificed to the pit of fire.

[–] sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have pretty strong thumbs and generally just end up tearing off most of the top and being pissed at the stupid design.

[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 5 points 2 years ago

I thought that's how it was supposed to work?

[–] MonsiuerPatEBrown@reddthat.com 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

it aren't supposed to be your thumb just a thumb.

[–] magnetosphere@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

An unsettling yet plausible interpretation

[–] theodewere@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago

no kidding the last box of mac'n'cheese i opened, that was the TOUGHEST spot on the box, i just ripped the lid off

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Here's the CEO of a company on national television showing off his company's new packaging design. The instructions are to mess with you. Even CEOs can't open their own damn products.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-p8YpR7rJc

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[–] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

You're supposed to use your thumb to lift that flap, as instructed, not try to punch a hole in it. Start at the side.

[–] Scribbd@feddit.nl 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

As instructed: 'insert thumb'.

I don't think I am the only one thinking inserting on a flat fragile surface means: "punch hole".

If it had some cavity for your thumb to be inserted in it would make more sense.

"Grip corner and lift"?

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[–] Coreidan@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You have to grunt while you’re doing it like in karate.

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