The only way I can handle it is by treating myself as two people. The adult in me that grew up and the obstinate 17yrold in a frayed dead kennedys shirt with general disdain for any and all forms of authority. I bribe him with some kind of reward and if he says no or tries to get around it I get to take control and win in our battle of wills. I have to keep the shithead happy enough that he doesn't riot and burn the place down, but ultimately the adult runs the show. Treating my bad habits as a separate person who is my rival works well for me. It is kinda funny that I'm essentially "bread and circus"ing myself
this post was submitted on 20 May 2025
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"Just finish whenever you can" is literally the worst thing you can say to me if you actually want that thing finished.
Yup. It just translates to "Whenever you have a spark of inspiration to do this specific thing which means it'll happen somepoint in the next 3 years"
For anyone who hasn't seen the full version of this here's an update lol.
But when the deadline becomes real and actual fear kicks in 🤩🤩🤩 if only it were possible to engage this motivation at will...
Properly spaced out, sporadic emergencies are where we shine.
No time to worry about being perfect, just has to be done.
The zone
The only good incentive for me is cold hard cash, and theres never any of it when i need to do something.
I did once manage to force myself into studying during very hot summer with "no fan if not studying". Basically, every time I took a break, I turned the fan off.
I was trying to learn C++ and Japanese. I gave up on both eventually, and I know nothing. I still want to return to it. It's been 3 years.