this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 88 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Off topic, but it paints a grisly picture of humanity that all vampires have higher standards for consent than many humans.

[–] hansolo@lemm.ee 58 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Seriously.

One vampire Dev pops "by clicking agree, you consent to vampires entering your home." Into line 57842368 of the Instagram/FB TOS and suddenly it's a feeding frenzy....

...How does one sell a script to Black Mirror?

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Dystopian technofeudalist vampire is now one of my favorite new tropes. Thank you.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Peter Thiel has never felt so appreciated..

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He's why I have a crucifix-shaped wifi jammer nailed to my headboard.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Oh THAT'S why? I thought it was a kink thing..

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I never said it wasn't. Maybe I just get off on antagonizing billionaire vampires.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Plus, there’s a (kind of) precedent. All you’d have to do is plan it for April fool’s day.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A "standard" implies it's a societal norm they're participating in, rather than a supernatural compulsion they're restricted by.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's a good point. Perhaps they're instead restricted by a social code of honor and limited empathy. Like they could come in against your will, but most won't because it's a shameful violation of vampire ethics, and they would feel bad about it.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I mean, sure. But that's some supernatural ability to compartmentalize.

"I'll drain the blood from your veins in a fit of bestial hunger but I won't just...enter your house uninvited. I'm a monster, not an animal."

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I've eaten a steak before, but I won't slaughter a cow. People are complicated and inconsistent sometimes.

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[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I'm beginning to realise that even stones may have higher standards for consent than most humans.

[–] Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

For the sake of us all, I hope you're wrong, but history being what it has been, I'm having trouble coming up with a counterargument.

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[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How does the lore work? Does the vampire need to hear the right thing or does the person need to mean the right thing?

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The whole thing is vampire propaganda to make the general population feel more safe

Big Blood is playing us for fools

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If I were making the rules, intent would be what mattered.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Otherwise vampires would be getting invited in because some word means "enter" or whatever in a different language.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] conditional_soup@lemm.ee 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Californians: "idk, he just kept asking and I kept saying, like, the beach? The coast? The seaside? Eventually he just stormed off in a huff, but, yeah, no, super weird guy. I still don't know what he wanted."

Context: as long as I've been on the west coast, I've literally never heard anyone call it the shore.

[–] frog_brawler@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Lived in FL for 28 years and the last time I heard it called the shore was in Ocean City, MD In 1997

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[–] MrShankles@reddthat.com 5 points 1 month ago

Lmao, I was having the same thought. "Shore" wouldn't have crossed my mind unless I'm talking about Gulf Shores. And that's a beach town in my mind. Hell, I grew up close enough to Jersey and have lived near the Gulf of Mexico for over 20 years; "shore" just isn't in my vocab like that

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Except it doesn't work that way. It's not about wordplay, but the esoteric power of being explicitly invited.

[–] Stitch0815@feddit.org 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

But it does work that way because vamipres are made up and so are the rules

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Counterpoint: Buffy (the series, not the movie, not the comic) is the only true vampire canon, and everything else is fanfic, and older stuff is from future time travelers writing fanfic.

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[–] klemptor@startrek.website 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Doesn't matter if you let them in. Nothing stopping them from setting your house on fire and making you come out.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 21 points 1 month ago

Vampires stopped existing when a wild hermit man once declared that the entire outside was their home.

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Ah, the Harry Dresden Assassination technique

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If vampires are sticking to a code of ethics and honour to enter your house than this wouldn't work

You are answering a question with an answer .... not making a verbal contract

You are making a statement ... not giving permission

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

haha! yeah!

like who doesn't know what a sure is ᵐᵃʸ ᴵ ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᶦⁿ?

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago

Are you a cop? Because I don't answer questions without legal representation....

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Vampires are from Staten Island and Noo Yawk Citttttaaaaaay.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

No they're just regular human bartenders there.

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

No Jackie Daytona is a normal human from Tucson Arizoniia you fool.

[–] name_NULL111653@pawb.social 3 points 1 month ago

A lot of us in NOLA, too! And Denver for some reason...

[–] owl 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

me: coast?
vampire: Mhm -_- How would you pronouce the first three letters of "yesterday" ^may^ ^i^ ^come^ ^in?^

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well the first letter is pronounced like the word why. The next one, is like the second name of rapper easy e. Now that third letter, thats a real fun pronunciation. How familiar are you with the 18th president of the USA?

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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Coast on inside? Don't mind if i do!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure the magic preventing a vampire from entering without permission would not be overcome so easily.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

Its not magic if its real.

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"A Beatles song, XXXterday."

Yes No

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Three characters you say.

No!terday

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

/c/wellthatsucks

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 3 points 1 month ago

a sphincter says what?

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